Point of Living
by LesserWraith
Summary: Hiccup is one year older today, and after understanding the horrifying truth behind human life, Toothless must consider his true reason of living. My first fic!
1. Youth

**This story is incredibly long! Be prepared for angst and feels by the end of the story! **

* * *

Hiccup is excited today.

He's just awaken, and I can tell that he's really looking forward to something. His heart is beating faster than usual and he reeks of happiness. He even _smells _excited.

Contrary to popular myth, I, Toothless, have absolutely no idea why. Humans have a _lot_ of reasons to feel excited, and I don't really think I can understand them all.

I don't really think that I care, either. Humans are lazy and annoying. That's what matters.

Well, _most_ of them. There's just one who's only lazy _some_ of the time.

_Get_ _up__!_

I move my snout towards Hiccup's side, crooning slightly to get him up.

He tosses a bit under the covers. I can sense reluctance from his spinal chord now.

"A few more minutes, Toothless..."

_No__._

I warble, dissatisfied that my best friend is unwilling to get up. See, humans. Laziness. Interchangeable.

_We__'__re_ _going_ _flying __today__,_ _remember__?_

A loud snort from me makes him put his pillow over his head.

"Please, Toothless..."

_No__._

There is _no_ way you are going to fall asleep again without telling me what's making you so excited. _You_are the only person who I listen to. And I want answers.

_**You**__. __**Are**__. __**Getting**__. __**Up**__._

I nudge him roughly on the arm, feeling its warmth and softness. The arm that scratches and pats me so often, the hand that gets so many purrs out of me. The hand that he used to bond with me. He still does, in a way.

But not now.

_Get_ _up__, __you_ _overgrown_ _ape__!_

"Nngh..." Hiccup groans loudly, but doesn't leave the sheets.

I wildly resist the urge to jump on him. The last time I did, he nearly threw up. And even though he didn't yell at me or anything, I still felt pretty bad about it- and vowed never to do it again if he had a large dinner the night before. Which, sadly, he did.

As much as I care for my friend, I wasn't going to hurt him, even if I meant well.

Since when did I not, anyway?

"I want to hold on to this moment as long as possible..." Hiccup's voice trails sleepily from under the covers. He's scuffling a bit, trying to shift himself to where the heat is warmest.

_It __must __be __warm __in __there__,_ I think. _Not __hot __like __the __fire that __I __shoot__, __but __warm __enough __to __keep __him __comfortable__. _Knowing Hiccup, who treasures every fun and happy moment of his life, I know that it must feel nice to wake up like that, with no thoughts of burdens or problems, free, nonchalant, not having to care for a single thing in the world. If he wanted to go back to sleep, he could just go back to sleep, without caring about anything at all.

It's a very strong illusion of freedom, but something worth indulging nonetheless.

What _is _true free freedom, anyway?

But it doesn't matter. He's happy. That's all I need for now. Not flying. Not bugging him.

Just letting him rest there happily, using the warmth of the blankets to boost his freedom.

So I wait patiently for my best friend.

_I__'__m_ _giving_ _you_ _10_ _more __minutes__. __Then_ _I_ _will_ _scorch_ _your_ _bed__._

I wonder if I've ever felt this carefree before I met him before.

I wonder if _he__'__s _felt this carefree before he met me. Probably, because now I shake him up every morning.

_You_ _are_ _lazy__,_ _whiny__,_ _and_ _sarcastic__-_ _but_ _you_ _are_ _Hiccup__._ _So_ _you_ _live__._

True to his words, he gets up after several more peaceful moments. The peace does not last long, though, for the second he does, I jump onto him and lick him furiously.

_You__'__re_ _up__!_ _Let__'__s_ _go_ _flying__!_

"Ah! Hey! Toothless..." Hiccup says. He's smiling, too. That must be a good thing.

"I'm sorry that I had to make you wait." he says.

I snort. _I__'__ll_ _get_ _you_ _up_ _super_ _early_ _tomorrow_ _to_ _compensate__._

Hiccup gets off the bed, stretching excessively and even attempting to do a few push-ups. What has gotten into him today? I prance the room silently, taking account of how all the things in the room just didn't _move_ unless you hit them. Like the bed. Or the desk, as Hiccup calls it. It never, never moves. So much unlike the living inhabitants that use these motionless objects, who do nothing but lie still. The perks of being a creature, I guess.

_I_ _suggest_ _you_ _get_ _breakfast_ _first__-_

"AH!"

_Oh__,_ _great__._

Hiccup's arms give away, his body falling and about to hit floor. Well, it would have, if I didn't move my head right under him to catch him. _Hurt_ _my_ _friend_ _and_ _I'll_ _scorch __you_, I threaten the floor.

From here, I can see Hiccup's eyes perfectly. Happiness, gratitude, and, well, excitement, are all shown through those green grass pupils, glinting madly in the morning light.

"Thanks," he says, getting up and dusting himself- I don't understand why he'd do the latter, considering the fact that he never hit the floor. Or am _I _dusty?

In any case, _flying__!_ I rumble a little bit, reminding him of what we're supposed to do this morning.

He pats my head affectionately and gives me a big smile. "Today's a big day, bud," he says.

_Big_ _day__?_ _I_ _thought_ _all_ _days_ _lasted_ _the_ _same_ _length__._

"But first, let's get some breakfast, shall we?"

_Yes__._

Hiccup walks over to my side and hitches up on me. I can hear the prosthetic leg clicking into place with my own tail mechanism. The contraption turns immediately, spreading my artificial tailfin wide. _Here_ _goes__. _I shoot through the window and high into the air, the wind passing under our wings as we go higher and higher together.

_**Our **__wings__._

"Yeah!" Hiccup yells, urging me to go faster. It's a sensation that I'll never get bored of. His and my delight as we rush into the skies, into our freedom, into the vast space above the land below. Where our spirits soar as high as the skies itself, where we truly understand each other without any doubt or question. In the world above, we are unstoppable.

_Crippled_ _when_ _alone__,_ _whole_ _when_ _together__._

We move effortlessly through the air, reading one another's moves as if it had all been a huge beforehand plan. Every little thought I make, every little move he does, is enough to tell us both where we want to go. His leg shifts to the slightest left and I know what he wants. He knows what _I_ want.

_The_ _sea__._ _Fish__._ _For_ _me__!_

I turn to my left and dive down straight towards the sea. After long periods of flying together, we discovered that this part of the sea had fish in abundance- all year long. Hiccup never told anyone about it, for it would destroy the fish's natural habitat, and, more importantly, it would destroy the small paradise that was claimed only by us.

Not for Hiccup's mate. Not for Hiccup's father. Not ever for his mentor.

Just for us. A sea where I could eat until I was satisfied, just for me and him.

Hiccup spots the massive cluster of fish below us exactly one second after I do.

"Shoot 'em up, Toothless!" he yells.

_You_ _got_ _it__._

I roar, sending a concussive blast of plasma straight into a nearby school of fish. It strikes the water with such force that the unfortunate fish fly into the air, giving any passers-by the illusion that fish could, indeed, fly. Not like how we flew, but to be in motion in the air.

"Bull's-eye!" Hiccup yells, patting my back to congratulate me. I croon happily, satisfied with my performance.

Hiccup holds up a little sack to catch some of the fish for his own meal, while I grab what tasty marine creatures I can into my mouth as they fall back into the sea. Being a Night Fury, I have a smaller anatomy than the others of my kin, but it also makes me have a much smaller appetite.

It's good, really. If you had to eat over a hundred fish per day, the fish would die out rather quickly. You have to take _only_ what you need, and leave the rest to reproduce so they could make up for their losses.

A noble sacrifice for the mighty dragon, nonetheless.

I roast Hiccup's fish with a small dose of flame, resisting the urge to eat that as well. Burned or not, it's still fish. And it's still _delicious__!_ But, it's Hiccup's. So I let him have it.

By the time we head back home, there seems to be quite a commotion in front of Hiccup's house. I let him down gently and follow him towards the source of the noise.

To my surprise, Hiccup's excitement has reached its highest point yet. Did he expect this crowd, his friends, his father, his mentor?

I certainly didn't, anyway.

"I'll be right back, Toothless," he says. I nod, a little bit irritated, but happy that he's happy.

"Hiccup!"

"He's here!"

"Hey there, man!"

So I stand back and watch Hiccup run into his group of friends and get congratulated, hands slapping his back lightly, causing my eyes to slit very, very briefly, before understanding that it is just something that humans _did_, just like how his mate keeps on punching him. A part of me, of course, wants to pounce on them all to stop them from harming Hiccup, but I resist the increasingly growing urge. I don't want to ruin Hiccup's "excitement" just because I'm getting all worked up just because my friend was hit playfully.

Stupid over-protectiveness.

It's always been inside me ever since he found me in the cove. I want to protect him, for he protected me, gave me back what I lost, along with the so unworthy _companionship_, and I proved so many times so close to failing to do the same in return. Those early test drives. The arena. The Red Death. The last one was too _close_. I could never afford to lose him. I absolutely forbid that.

Our bond is only as strong as we believe in it. But there are, of course, things that could break those bonds without the consent of either of us.

I was _not_ going to let those things harm him. Ever.

Hiccup says I'm way too possessive of him. How is that possible? I care for him so much, but I don't _own_ him. He can own _me_ all he wants, and I probably deserve it, being the idiotic thing that keeps by his side all the time, but I could never _have_ him.

He _does_ admit, though, that he's really protective of me as well, even though he can't "do much to help". I still laugh at that thought. How much does he know that I feel the safest when around him? That I feel the most secure? That I feel the most _happy__?_

He and I are the epitome of how strong two souls can care for each other so deeply. Hiccup would never let _me _get hurt without him being able to help it. I still remember him climbing onto the fire-ridden boat, trying to pull those chains apart, affixed with the unbreakable will to save me. _Go__,_ I had thought back then. _Save_ _yourself__._ _It__'__s_ _too_ _dangerous__._ Yet, he persisted, even when the massive tail smashed down onto the ship; he went right down with me, still trying to rid me of the barrier that was shortly going to bring about my death- and his, too. _**Go**__**!**__You__'__ll_ _be_ _killed_ _too__!_ He was down there with me, keeping me company until the end of those supposedly last moments, until someone- I don't even care to remember who- came down to set us free.

There is _nothing _I could ever do to repay that. How do you go that far to save someone, knowing very well, that failure- and even sometimes success- would cost your own?

Nothing, of course. I just told you that.

I catch glimpses of their conversations as Hiccup is _still_ getting jumped on by everybody in the group.

"...It's your birthday, Hiccup! Awesome!"

"...I hope you grow up to be just like your father, dude."

"...Don't push it too far- I'm _still_ the best ladies man in Berk."

"...You look a bit taller today... how much is a taller?"

My eyes meet Hiccup's as he desperately mouths something to me.

_Help_ _me__, _is what he's saying- and thinking. We aren't mind readers, but we understand each other pretty well, especially when the situation calls for it. My eyes slit in agreement.

_You__._ _Get_ _off_ _my_ _best_ _friend__._ _Now__._

I dash up to him, yanking him from his mentor by the mouth and throwing him onto my back. I snort happily at the group, who seems to not be unhappy at all that I just intervened in their group conversation. "Damn perfect timing," he whispers. "Thanks."

"Aww, can't you see? Even Toothless is happy for you!" Hiccup's mate says happily, patting my head.

_I__'__m_ _always_ _happy_ _for_ _him__._ _Because_ _he__'__s_ _him__._ _And_ _so_ _should_ _you__,_ I croon.

Hiccup hooks up my tail and gives me a soft rub on the leg.

"Thank you a lot, everyone, for the, um, congratulations and all, but, uh, I really have to be off. Toothless is getting kinda impatient." I snort for obvious confirmation.

"Alright, Hiccup!"

"See you later!"

And with that, I turn around and take off to the skies once more, safe in the knowledge that Hiccup's "excitement" was fading quickly and turning into his thrill of flying once more. We fly towards the cove, 'Raven's Point,' as Hiccup calls it.

"Wow," Hiccup says happily. "They sure weren't that enthusiastic about my birthday last year."

_I_ _know__,_ _right__?_ _You_ _needed_ _to_ _gain_ _their_ _trust_ _to_ _get_ _them_ _to_ _like_ _you__._ _Guess_ _you_ _did__._

Hiccup laughs. "And you're one of the biggest reasons why."

_I_ _am__?_ _All_ _I_ _did_ _was_ _be_ _your_ _friend__._ Then I come into revelation. _Wait__..._

I remember what he told me all those months ago- when he was still seeing me in secret, when he was healing his wounds as well as mine, when no one else in the village truly knew about the story of him and me.

Dragon and human.

He told me that he was never really accepted into the village, widely known as "Hiccup the _hiccup_" as the best of names, being bullied and hurt all the time, never accepted in his father's eyes. It took a lot from me, back then, to not go looking for these monsters Hiccup mentioned of and rip them from limb to limb.

I wonder if any of those _humans_had thought of what they had done before when they were talking to Hiccup. I wonder if they even remember.

_If __they __don__'__t__, __they__'__re __going __to __pay_, I think.

Hiccup notices my silence and gives me a reassuring nudge. "You alright there, bud?"

I warble. _Of __course__. __If __you __weren__'__t __just __so __keen __on __worrying __me __all __the __time__._

We reach the cove soon enough. Hiccup gets off and slumps onto the ground, sighing happily.

"This is the _life__, _Toothless. Don't you just love it here?"

_I_ _love_ _this_ _place_ _second_ _only_ _to_ _you__,_ _but_ _you_ _won't_ _be_ _able_ _to_ _hear_ _me_ _anyway__._

But still, it's the thought that counts, doesn't it?

He pulls up a lump of grass and stares at it intently, muttering something that I can't hear.

_Humans__._

I content myself with drinking water when I see him walk up to me.

He stands beside me, hand on my back, looking at his and my together reflection in the water.

_Together__._ _Best __friends__..._ _forever__._

"I'm one year older today, Toothless," he says, patting my scales. "1 more winter, for you."

_I_ _don__'__t_ _even_ _remember_ _the_ _day_ _I_ _was_ _born__,_ I think. _It_ _isn__'__t_ _really_ _important_ _when_ _you_ _live_ _for_ _so_ _long__._ _Does_ _it_ _really_ _matter_ _when_ _you__'__re_ _so_ _happy__?_

"Time goes by so quickly," he says. "Only a few months ago I was nearly eaten by you."

_I_ _still_ _regret_ _ever_ _considering_ _that__,_ _if_ _that_ _makes_ _you_ _feel_ _better__,_ I warble.

But he can't hear me, so he gets worse. His hands droop a bit, his heart beating somewhat slower than usual, and the excitement from earlier is all gone.

_What_ _has_ _gotten_ _into_ _him__?_

"Today is a happy day," he says.

_It_ _is__._ _Well__,_ _it_ _should_ _be__._

"Today when I age older one year..."

_Nah__._ _You_ _age_ _all __the __time__, __little __by __little__. __Today __just __means __that __you__'__ve __done __one __more __cycle __of __aging__. __You__'__re__ 16 __cycle s__now__- __only__ 5 __before __me__, __in __any __case__._

Despite dragons' lives being somewhat long, we lack a proper childhood. In about 5 cycles. we are already fit to leave the nest and into the world. We mature so quickly, because we don't have companions to hold us back, it isn't even funny.

But with Hiccup, I feel so young. I can finally show a playful and carefree side of myself that I've rarely even brought up.

So why is Hiccup not treasuring this childhood moment? Or is this the day that it ends?

_Cheer __up__, __bud__. __You__'__ll __get __to __mate __in __a __few __more __years__._

Hiccup gives me the biggest look of disbelief ever.

_What__?_

"I'm older now. I can't do things that I could have before..." his tone is becoming more and more depressed. This is his birthday. He mustn't be so sad! I have to cheer him up!

I nudge him softly and let out a small purr.

_Life __is __long__! __You __have __time __to __do __plenty __of __things__!_

"I only have about 35 years left, you know," he says in a somewhat sad way.

_I __have __a __few __more __hundred __to __go__- __WHAT__?_

I spin around, nearly knocking him to the ground and staring at him.

_THIRTY- __FIVE__- YEARS__? _is written all over my aghast face, filling up quickly with anger and fear.

Not to mention the morbid feeling slowly sinking into my stomach.

**_THIRTY __FIVE _**_**YEARS**_**_?_**

"Whoa! Toothless! Calm down!"

_No__, _I grumble angrily. I shake my head in anger._Thirty __five __years __is __like __a __blink __of __an __eye__! __Do __you __know __how __short __that __is__?_

Hiccup seems to understand my anger. He sits down next to me, legs crossed, head down, drawing something in the grass.

"Most Berkian vikings live up to thirty. If you're very lucky, like Gothi, you get up to fifty. But that's _it__,_ Toothless. That's the most I can live. I won't be lasting anywhere as long as you."

I roar. _Why__, __Hiccup__? __Why __do __humans __have __such __short __life __spans__?_

He looks up to me with sad eyes. Those poor, soon-to-be-dead-eyes. Those eyes that mean so much to me. "I don't know why we live so short, Toothless. I've heard that your kind lives up to hundreds, even thousands of years." he says.

_Yes__. __But __why __are __you __humans __so __**weak**__**? **__Why __won__'__t __you __live __longer__?_

_Why __won__'__t __you __be __there __when __I__'__ll __need __you __the __most__?_

_Why __won__'__t __you __be __there __for __me__?_

_Why__?_

I croon angrily, stomping down a patch of grass until it's reduced to filth. I resist the urge to burn it too, for Hiccup is sitting so close by. He sees my anger and nods sadly.

"Come look at this, bud," he says quietly.

He motions me towards a ground-drawn picture. It's a horizon of a winter night, the representation of a year cycle, along with a short line on the bottom left side of it, divided into 50 lines perfectly. There's a little bit of empty space between the edge of the picture and the line.

"This is my life cycle," he says, pointing to the short line. I let out an indignant roar.

_And __it__'__s __already__ 15 __damn __lines __through__._

"Can you draw me your life cycle, bud?" his monotonic voice registers in my ear.

I want to stomp on that image, the representation of the puny life that humans had, a memento to me that I will be alone once again, never to see Hiccup again. I want to scorch the very earth that he will soon lie in, and burn the skies that make his life so short-lived. So miserable is his life. Why can't he get any more than that?

But I do what he wants me to. It's the least I can do to make him happy.

I shakily claw a much longer line below the one he drew, extending from the start to the end of the picture, denoting that my life has started only shortly before his. I divide that into several smaller lines, just enough to let him know that my life will consist of several more millennia after his. I snarl at my own drawing, refusing to accept the horrible truth.

Dragons are long-living creatures. We rule the skies and fight off other predators with our fire. We are strong and powerful. We are intelligent.

Despite all that, I feel so powerless at the moment. All the knowledge that I have can't tell me how to make his life longer. Not an ounce of my strength or fire will keep him going after he can go on no more.

I croon sadly, the fight going out of me at this revelation. As much as I love him, I cannot keep him. He will always be him, and I will always be me. We can come close, but we can never become one forever. We can share moments together, but we can never remember them after so long. I can treasure all he has done for me, but he will never be there for me to add more. He will be nothing more but a memory in my mind after his passing.

"Toothless." His voice is pained, but determined.

I turn towards him. If I could cry, like Hiccup did when he was sad, I would.

He draws a vertical line intersecting the two lines at the left side, exactly at the fifthteenth mark that Hiccup made.

"This is where we are now," Hiccup says quietly. "My life... is so short, compared to yours."

I shoot a firebolt into the sky to let out my frustration.

_If __I __could __do __anything __for __you__, __Hiccup__. __What __I __would __sacrifice __to __let __us __stay __together __longer__._

"I know, Toothless..." he says, but I know he doesn't. Humans may have stronger emotions than dragons do, but it doesn't mean that he can even come close to comprehending what I am thinking, feeling, _hurting__,_ at the moment.

He was hurt. He was sad.

But he wasn't going to be the one who would miss me like I would.

He draws something in that wintery horizon. There is a little dragon, flying through the snowy sky, chasing the stars, with a small boy on his back, body leaning close to the dragon's for warmth.

"This is us now," he says.

He draws another vertical line, towards the middle of his own lifespan.

The dragon stays the same, but he draws a new boy- a boy grown much larger in size.

"This is us in a another decade," he says, voice slightly shaking now.

I let out a whimper.

He draws several vertical lines towards the end of his life, then adds more extending beyond that. Then he erases the boy from the white paradise.

"This is..." he begins, his voice very close to tears now.

_...__us __in __another__ 35 __years__. __It__'__s __just __not__ '__us__' __anymore__._

_It__'__s __the __horrible__, __unchangeable__, __indelible __truth__._

_It__'__s __me__. __Without __Hiccup__._

_Alone__._

Hiccup gives me a sympathetic look. He is strong, the boy, and I can see so much determination in him. He's close to crying, but he just won't.

"T-there will be a time, Toothless... that I will be too old to be able to ride you anymore..."

_Without Hiccup._

My legs give away, slumping onto the ground, emotions blurred all into a deep mixture of fiery watercolors, staining my mind and tainting my consciousness. I let out a cry of despair, a cry that I have only used once before in my life, which was when Hiccup lay on the bed, motionless, for so many days after the battle with the Queen. I thought he was never coming back. But now, I realize that he is going anyway, regardless of what I do. Be it by nature or hand, he was going. My wings are arched towards the ground, the will to move them any further all gone. My snout drives itself into the ground below, not knowing why it should ever come back up.

_He__'__s __going __to __die__._

_He __won__'__t __be __able __to __ride __me __anymore__._

_He__'__s __going __to __leave __me __alone__._

"Toothless!" Hiccup says, surprised at my weakness. I can see a tear forming in his eyes.

Dragons are the mightiest of creatures. The strongest. They never pain in death, nor reveled in birth. They are fierce. They do not bow down to puny, sentimental emotions.

And yet, here I was, a dragon who, at the moment, was the opposite of it all.

I knew from the moment I met Hiccup that I wasn't a normal dragon. But I wasn't too different, either. I am strong, majestic, and bold.

Or so I think. But now, with the truth so clear and close...

_Hiccup __must __think __I__'__m __a __weakling__, _I think bitterly. _I __**am **__a __weakling__._

_But __he __is __going __to __die __anyway__. __What __does __it __matter__?_

Of course it matters. He's my companion. My true friend. My heart and soul. My pride and joy. My freedom and happiness. My love and care. My shadow and light.

In Dragonese, the language of dragons, we have a word that means "not lonely". The human tongue, for all I know, does not. So ironic for a species that live mostly in large groups.

What would happen to me if he died?

My heart would shatter. My mind would shut down all at once, leaving my mentality dysfunctional and my soul crushed. I would only be able to think of one thing: _He__'__s __gone__. __He__'__s __never __going __to __ride __your __back __again__. __He__'__s __never __going __to __laugh__, __smile__, __or __wake __up __again__. __He__'__s __dead__. _I would try to nudge him, to wake him up, to assure him it's all been just a bad dream, so I can feel his warm touch once again, and let out a roar of despair after it fails. I would refuse to eat. I will...

What am I going to do once he's gone?

There are many considerable possibilities, none of them worth anything after Hiccup's demise.

I could live after his death, but as a broken dragon of what I used to be. But why would I bother? What was the point of living anymore after him? There was nothing worth _doing_anymore. Not after all that he's done with me. Nothing would ever feel as good as that.

I would only live to survive for another day. What use would that be? I'd just be another of those reminders for the others in the village, a representation of the happy boy that once ran and played on the isles who was there no more.

I could go on and look for other Night Furies, even though I know that my efforts will be less than fruitless. I am the 'unholy offspring of lightning and death itself'. I come from the electrical storms that shook the world and killed the creatures of the world, and when I die, another massive tempest will arrive to collect my lifeless body.

Ever since I was born, on a high cliff, I was alone. I knew nothing of the word 'friend'. I don't even think the Night Fury Dragonese has a word for that. I always kept to myself, even in raids, for I did not know the point in communicating with others. Dragons, or at least the more isolated ones, have very little sense of care. They live alone, and get snappy when they are engaged in conversation. They do not feel the need to talk; they can be fine alone.

Night Furies are very, very, isolated. I never shrieked in horror when a fellow dragon was shot down. I never felt the need to take revenge for something, because I never cared for any of them. I only came and went as the Queen ordered, and even she knew to not try to converse with me. I had always felt nonchalant. I did not feel happy, nor sad, for I had no feelings at the time. I just did what I was told. I was a mechanical slave, in a way.

It was Hiccup who brought that out sentimental side from me. It was him who reached out and placed his hand on my snout, forming the strongest bond the world has yet to see. I was him who taught me how to feel _happy__._ Not silent and solemn. But joyful. _Happy__._

Now I know why Hiccup cries so much about his mother. Because you once knew how it was like to be loved, to be cared for. And then it's taken away from you before you know it. And you yearn so deeply for it to come back once more. You can't turn back to being that nonchalant soul again. Once you love, you will always love.

Once you love, all you need is love.

Why would I even consider living, then? It makes no sense.

I could just die along with Hiccup. It would be so simple. I could time my heart beats in sync with his, so that when his stopped, so would mine. Then neither of us would have to worry about the other not being there. Because we both wouldn't.

Most dragons don't believe in an afterlife, but Hiccup does. I wonder if it really exists, and if it does, would I be in it? With him? Or is it only for humans?

If not, then I would truly be lonely forever.

Hiccup... who gave me back my life. The one who showed me the point of living, and who was going to strip me of it after he died.

_Hiccup__..._

I divert my eyes around, looking for him. He isn't by my side now. Where is he?

"Toothless..." says a voice near my back.

My ears perk up, along with my nose as I register the smell of fish. And water.

I turn around and see him, soaking wet, panting, with a fish in hand.

Hiccup had gone into the pool and caught a fish. Just for me. With his prosthetic still on. How I did not hear him going in was a wonder.

Why he did it _for__me_ wasn't, though.

_Hiccup__? _I ask curiously.

He smiles. "Toothless."

And it's just like what had happened several months ago, when he approached me with a fish, trying to gain my trust, replaying in my head, and now once again in front of me. I try to understand his motives through those large, green eyes of his. Apology? Kindness? Understanding? Does he forgive me for being mad? Was he ever mad at me in the first place?

My mind replays what it had thought all those months ago, at this very same place, back to me.

_You __got __this __fish just __for __**me**__?_

My mouth inches slowly for the fish, my teeth retracted to not scare Hiccup. He looks at me with a small smile, his mind running with excitement and concern.

"_Toothless__, __huh__? __I __swear __you __had__-"_

I snap my jaws shut on the fish, biting it twice before swallowing it whole.

I approach him slowly, but this time, he stays where he is. When I get close enough, he reaches out his hand.

Which I meet with my snout.

_Hiccup__..._

Then he's all over me, hugging me and crying and laughing at the same time, leaving me to stand there and rumble happily in content, for that this is Hiccup, this is my soulmate, my friend for life, my reason for living.

He gets up from his hugging posture and gets down on one knee, so our eyes meet each other in perfect level.

"I'm sorry that I made you worry, bud," he says with an apologetic look.

_You __still __do__, __every__day__, __but __that__'__s __alright__. __I __forgive __you__._

_You__'__re __my __friend__, __after __all__. _

I resist the urge to regurgitate the fish from my stomach. Instead, I give him a nod.

"I know that you're worried that I won't be there for you, Toothless," he says.

I mumble quietly, but loud enough to let him know that I am.

"But... whatever may happen, Toothless, I want you to live your life to the fullest, alright?"

_Why__? _I think. _What __point __is __there __to __live __without __you__?_

"Because your life is much more important than mine, Toothless," he says. "You have so many more places to go, more places to see."

My back legs twitch.

"You don't have to be stuck with this scrawny little boy forever, you know. You'll find new friends, better than me, and you'll be really happy. Isn't that what matters the most?"

My front legs twitch.

"If it's fine by you, I-I've made a new prosthetic tail for you, one that you can fly on your own with," he says. "So that you can explore the world once I'm gone."

My ears twitch.

"You are the most important being in my life, Toothless. I want you to be happy until the day you die, alright?"

My wings twitch.

"I don't want to hold you back. And certainly don't die for me-"

_That__'__s __enough__._

I pounce on him, knocking him down and licking his face so vigorously that he's forced to lay his head to the side to avoid the oncoming assault of dragon saliva.

Which, if it could ever cure anything, it would be sadness.

"Ah! Whoa! Buddy..." he says weakly as I draw back, satisfied with my doings.

As he gets up, I push him slowly towards a rock- the very same rock so many months ago, in fact- and push my snout up towards his chest, where I know where his heart is.

_You __are __the __reason __why __I __am __still __living__, __Hiccup__. __You __mean __so __much __to __me__, __much __more __than __my __own __self __means __to __me__. __Without __you__, __I __would __not __be __here __today__. __I __can __never __tell __you __how __happy __I __feel __to __just __be __with __you__, __fly __with __you__, __play __with __you__, __every__day__, __because __you __just __keep __adding __more __and __more__, __and __I __want __you __to __be __happy __until __the __day __you __die __as __well__, __Hiccup__._

_I __may __become __broken__, __I __may __become __what __I __am __not __today__, __but __I __will __live __for __you__. __For __you __gave __me __life__, __and __I __will __not __let __that __life __go __to __waste__. __You __gave __me __a __reason __to __live __on __after __you__, __and __that __is __so __I __can __be __happy__. __And __I __will__._

_No __matter __where __I __go__, __I __will __always __remember __you__, __Hiccup__. __You __will __always __be __the __flame __that __lights __my __soul__, __the __burning __passion __that __keeps __me __alive__. __When __I __see __the __sea__, __the __earth__, __the __sky, __or __all __these __places __we __have __roamed __together__, __I __will __think __of __you__. __My __travelling __companion__. __My __friend __for __life__._

_I __will __never __find __someone __as __good __as __you__, __because __I __will __not __feel __anyone __worth __being __with __more __than __you__, __for __you __introduced __these __feelings __of __sentimentality __to __me__. __I __will __never __again __let __anyone __ride __on __my __back__, __for __the __seat __is __reserved __for __you __only__, __and __I __will __wait __for __death __so __you __can __take __the __seat __once __again __and __fly __into __the __infinite __space __before __us__._

_I __will __never __approach __a __human __that __is __not __related __to __you__, __because __I __know __that __I __cannot __trust __anyone __else __that __you __do __not __trust __yourself__. __I __will __be __happy __on __my __own__, __to __fly __where __I __want__, __to __see __the __sceneries __and __sunsets __until __the __day __my __body __falls __to __the __ground __and __is __taken __away __by __the __fierce __lightning __that __too __gave __birth __to __me__, __so __I __can __tell __you __of __these __beautiful __things __once __we __are __together __again__._

_Hiccup__... __thank __you__. __For __everything__. __Love __you__, __bud__._

I lift my snout from his chest slowly, him looking at me with a teary, yet happy face. I know that he heard me, understood me, _felt_ me, for these feelings are not of our own individually, but shared together in a ball of everlasting fire that will stand to test the limits of time. It is one of those times that you know that the other can't talk, but you can just _hear_ them talking to you, in your mind, for our bonds are strong enough for these feelings to reach each other. In other words, we are one.

There is no 'my human' or 'his dragon'.

There is only us.

Hiccup beams at me, his tears doing nothing to hide his glowing face.

"W-We'll be together again, Toothless. Don't you worry. Even after death do us part."

_You __betcha__._

He leans forward and gives me another tight hug by the neck.

"I love you too, bud."

We walk over to the pond, where, after approval from Hiccup, I burn the drawing to a crisp, so even the sand underneath becomes an ashy black.

"You drew pretty well too, though," he says.

I snort. _You __don__'__t __happen __to __forget __the __day __I __drew __a __picture __for __you__, __do __you__?_

"I know that you drew a picture before," he says, looking at the scorched earth. "It's just I've never seen you do it again since."

_Oh__, __I __can __do __it __again__, _I warble.

He laughs.

We spend the rest of the day lying in the cove, snacking on what we can, but mostly just _lying_ there together, watching the sun rise to its maximum peak.

And this is an excellent example of our friendship, I tell you.

Because one of us can speak. The other can't. But yet we know each other so much better than those who talk to each other every day. These instincts, actions, emotions, are all caused by understanding and happiness that we know the other has. You would get rather bored, if you had a mute person as a friend. You wouldn't have anything to talk about after some time and you'd eventually leave. Or maybe you've had a friend so close that you became _too_close, and the more you talked the farther you pushed each other away.

Not Hiccup, that's for sure. He is the living testament that humans could truly befriend dragons, that unconditional love can be found in the most unlikely of places, that you didn't need to be strong and bulky to be someone's friend. That all you needed was trust and care.

And he certainly didn't mind that I couldn't talk.

It is a sign of how close we are, to understand thoughts and feelings without even talking.

Not very many people have friends like that. Even less don't even have friends.

_We __are __a __lucky __pair__,_ I think.

"We sure are," Hiccup's voice trails from next to me. It's only then that I notice that he's asleep. Again.

And again, I let him be, unfurling a wing and wrapping him softly to block out the sunlight.

It's his birthday. Give him some slack.

A few hours later, when the sun has clearly passed its prime, Hiccup gets up. He's still pretty touched from the conversation earlier today, and gives me an affectionate pat on the head.

"You ready to go, bud?" he asks, climbing up the saddle.

_You __mean__, __to __fly __off __into __the __sky__?_

"To feel the wind pass our bodies, to do tricks that would baffle even ourselves."

I spread out my wings, waiting for Hiccup to lock the prosthetic into place.

_To __live __life __to __the __fullest__._

"To live life to the fullest," Hiccup says at the same time. He notices this and laughs.

And so do I.

We're up in the sky before we know it, the splashes of sunset vividly dancing around as we shake loose our fears and worries with the passing wind, the air flying past our ears, drowning any outside sounds, like the world is insignificant, and what only matters is us, soaring through the layers of wind, wings flapping in a melodic pattern, body turning and spinning gracefully in the air, our dives and climbs free and true, our shouts of joy echoing out for the whole world to hear, even if the whole world didn't care.

And, you know what, that was fine by us.

Because, in the end, what mattered the most was how we felt. Not anyone else.

Only us.

* * *

**A/N: Chapter 2 is coming (very) shortly! **


	2. Teenage

Hiccup is growing up.

He was 16 a few years ago. That was the day I promised I'd live life to the fullest. And he lived his rather well, up to this day; he's happy. He has a mate, though they haven't courted yet. He has a father. He has a society where can laugh, play, have fun and marvel all the little things that make up his so short, yet so colorful life.

Plus, he has _me._ I won't ever be enough for him, but I pride in making a large portion of it.

It is hard to think, though, of how _much_ I make.

Because, as one, we can not appreciate how strong we are together until we compare it to some type of bond less powerful- take Hiccup and Fishlegs, brains in partners. Or Hiccup and Snotlout, the saint and the devil. Though they share moments together, they can never compare to us, where flying is _always_ a moment to share- because we can not do it alone. We must be together to be able so.

Though, by _together,_ I do not mean snoring your head off next to me.

It is his birthday again. It always brings back memories to me, to see him grow year by year, even though winters are just an illusion to the reality in which beings develop over time.

Like people, dragons age differently. Some of us are mature by 5, some take until 20 until we are strong enough to fly off into the distance and never return to their home. I, for example, am a fairly mature dragon by size, not going to get a lot bigger nor develop a lot more than this, but for my heart, I am definitely of Hiccup's age.

Or, at least, the illusion of it.

Because I didn't even remember what hearts were for before he showed me. I had always thought that it was just another body organ, a lifeless object that combined with other lifeless objects to make things with _life,_ not knowing its true purpose nor ever stopping to wonder of its true purpose, to wonder if their duty was to only do what they _had_ to_._ It was just another organ that did its job, never complaining, functioning at its best until it could work no more. Until it faced the inevitable fate that all things in _Yggdrasil_ did_._

It's the organ that Hiccup and I hold to maintain _life._ I can hear his heartbeat right now, nice and slow, pumping blood only fast enough to keep the body going.

_Life._

I laugh sometimes at that word. And I sometimes ask a lot of questions about it.

What is _life?_ What does it mean? Why were we given life? And why do some people do not cherish it, love it, nurture it like we should? _Should_ we even nurture it? Is it even worth preserving, if our lives are so short? Since there are people who don't use their life as they should, are there any classifications of the types of lives people have? If they live a horrible life, but they are happy, are they worth preserving? _Who_ is worth preserving, then? And who judges that one's life is horrible, if they are happy?

The answers, as well as the questions, all lie in our hearts. The place where feelings bloom and shatter. The metaphor of all feelings, even if its true origin comes from the brain.

Happiness, sadness. Carefreeness, anxiety. Trust, doubt. Courage, fear. Love, hate.

These are all emotions that can only be felt by the heart.

I have to tell you, I doubt that I ever had a 'heart' pre-Hiccup. Like I said, dragon's emotions aren't exactly as colorful or hurting as of humans'.

He gave me that heart. He showed me how it was to love, how _good_ it was to love, and why humans loved, even when their loved would one day dissipate anyway.

Like the boy who's _still_ in bed. Does he love it or something? His mate will kill him.

And humans do because it is such a desirable emotion. It is what makes us want to _live._ Not for food. Not for surviving. But so we can find that inner happiness in where, for a moment, everything was just alright, and you wished that nothing would change at all.

Who would not like to feel the happiness welling up in them as they see the person they love? Who would not pursue it once they have felt that butterfly-in-stomach sensation once again?

I would, for one. Though he's right next to me. And I don't digest butterflies.

Sure, _love_ has a lot of meanings. That's why you might have been misled earlier.

It can mean the strong feeling of care for someone. To be with that person until the very end, to make sure they are happy, and not give a single paw on who they mate with, under the knowledge that they will always feel the safest under us, even if we are not desired. Happy, in fact, that we are _not_ desired, but loved platonically, and no more.

Very people have this kind of mutual feeling, yet it's so funny if you ask Hiccup how often you see it.

It can mean the desire for someone, for their sweet scent, the way their hair flies in all different directions but still come back in perfect order, or the want to go... deeper. To go beyond something desirable. If you haven't guessed this out by not, it's basically carnal desire. You _want_ someone. Inside. Once you get bored of their slender body, you leave them to mate with someone else.

Dragons have this kind of love, in case you're wondering. That's why there are so many of us.

Love can be either one of them, a combination of both, or neither of them at all. But since when was defining emotions easy?

Well, actually... it is. It's the understanding part that takes a lot of effort.

I have only felt emotions from Hiccup, and thus I can only define one type of shared feeling, and that is platonicity, divided equally into caring, well-meaning, and trust. Our emotions are one. They all mix together to form something greater than love.

It's called friendship. "Camaraderie", as I overheard Fishlegs say. Companionship.

It never sinks, it always stays above the carnal desires underneath, but always below the uncaring sky, and we both care for each other and not for anything below. And we are perfectly happy where we are. We sail on the waves of time, braving the seas and predators together, always helping each other in our cause, and everything is ours, not mine, not his, but ours. To be simple, we are in the same boat. And we're happy.

He is 19 now. And he's sleepy.

His brain is protesting to get up, but his muscles and increasing blood pumping rate says otherwise.

He was 18 yesterday. And it changes today. The one day that adds another point in winters.

He had 33 years left yesterday. And it changes today, too.

Actually, he was 19 only a few minutes ago- he told me that he was born as sun rose above the cliff in front of his house, which is the time that ordinary people would call _morning._

But important times must be precise. Hiccup touched my snout for the first time as the sun began to set, just suspended above the highest of the pine trees of Raven's Point.

So, just like 3 years ago, he's still struggling to get up from bed.

I nudge him softly, crooning to let him know what time it is of the new day.

"_Hei,_"Hiccup's now rough, yet coarse voice calls from underneath.

I croon happily. _Get__up._

"10 minutes, Tooth-" he begins, almost pleading.

The croon turns into a growl. _Nope._

I fanglessly grab the sheets and drag it all the way across the room from the bed, leaving Hiccup cowering under the now absent blanket, shivering slightly from the cold. His eyes are half shut, as if wanting the warmth to return to him at his will.

It's not going to.

"Aw, c'mon, Toothless..." he chatters.

I leave the blanket to lie on the ground and pull _him_ off the bed next. He lies next to me on the floor, still shivering from the abrupt change of temperature and coziness, all the while giving me a weak smile.

"I saw that coming," he says shakily, struggling to stay warm. I drape my left wing over him so he won't get hypothermia.

Over the times, he's understood that I wake him up when I want to- there is no specific time for it, nor is there any real purpose behind my happy smile when he gets up, and there is certainly nothing holding behind when our eyes lock, signalling the time of flight.

I know, it's simple. Lame, even.

But it's the simplest things on Earth that we revel in the most. And even though everything that happens in this universe occurs because of reasons, I rejoice myself in having none.

Or, to be more realistic, giving myself the illusion that there is none, even when it's staring at you with both eyes. But it's the fact that you're happy that makes the delusion worth it.

But, it's still an illusion, and it's going to fade one day and reveal the truth.

Late-teen Hiccup stretches his arms high into the air, his body smells wafting through the room like vapour seeping in from an open window, he legs stretched out and sturdy.

_Hi,_ I think, feeling his warm body sit up next to me.

"It was only a few years ago, you know, that my arms could hardly hug you all the way."

To prove a point, Hiccup wraps his arms all around my middle and snuggles tightly. My legs wrap him back in confirmation, happiness flowing through us in the morning haze.

A jolt of pain erupts through me as the happiness flows.

The Berkian boy has grown a lot. A _lot._

His body has shot up like a bamboo shoot- high, sturdy, and very lean. His head almost reaches the top of the door now, something that Hiccup would have never envisioned a few years ago. His arms spread very far by his side, allowing him to reach for higher objects that I once had to fetch for him. He's a lot higher than his mate now, whose body seems to disagree to the more masculine features of heightening, and even almost topping his father. It won't be long before he overtakes him.

He has more muscles, too. I suppose that comes from his father training him to lift heavy wood logs for expanding the village (though I snuck a lot of it for him). He has learned to hunt, even though only a little bit, from his mate, and though no one still matches the devil, Snotlout, in wrestling and physical exertion, Hiccup can now at least put up a worthy fight.

To be honest, he is no longer a hiccup.

He is a man. A strong, lanky man with the force of a near viking.

"I wish I could lie like this all day, but I can't," he says, almost bored.

He could rely on himself, now, for a lot of things. He doesn't need me to help lift heavy objects anymore, though I still always offer to help. He doesn't need to wait for me to shoot a bolt into the sea to get fish anymore- he'd dive in there and get one for himself. He can set a fire himself, too, though he's never let me seen that- he knows that it will hurt my feelings.

And it did. It does. And it will.

"It's my birthday today. Remember last year, that you watched me help Astrid put up a huge banner in front of the house?" he says, satisfied with himself.

Another jolt of pain.

He is not reliant on me for physical activities anymore.

In fact, the only things that we do together nowadays, besides from playing, is flying, and that's not very often anymore. It's become more of a recreational activity than a daily one. The last time I've flown with him was 3 days ago.

Which is why I take this moment to hug him as long as possible. Because I feel so distant to him now.

I feel like he doesn't _need_ me anymore.

"It was pretty nice of the others to help too, you know," he continues.

I sometimes wonder; if I disappeared one day, would he care for me? Would our friendship, the only thing that keeps us together, lead him to try and find me in order to be together once more? Would he go that far for me, like he once did when he relied on me so much?

Am I a toy to him? Something to cuddle on, to cry on, to seek comfort from, to share friendship with, but as you age, you begin to feel that your dependencies are no longer with the toy, and can be discarded as will permits, with no feelings of attachment left to hold together our bonds?

Is our friendship only an illusion, waiting to fade and reveal it's gruesome veracity?

What are we, nowadays?

What am _I,_ nowadays?

"And you had my back the whole time; though Astrid disapproves sometimes."

_Astrid._ A mental knife enters my body, leaving as quickly as it enters. _She dislikes me._

Though I still tail him whenever I can, he will sometimes shoo me away so that he can be with his social life. I will be left alone, but always in the wings, waiting for him to come back. That, I can handle.

What I can't is how little he gives me back when I give him so much.

Does he care anymore? Or is his mate becoming more of a prominent figure than me? She has been growing in occurrences, recently- Hiccup will often leave me to find her. Alone.

"The mead hall's been prepared instead of our house this time. That way, _everyone_ can have fun," he says, gesturing to the whole room, as if it were to sprout out people from nowhere.

I fight back a whimper. Not _everyone_ is going to have fun.

What I dreaded all those years ago are finally coming back to me, looming quietly in the dark, and becoming the most prominent at the darkest of times. A silent knife that glints the brightest in the moonlight.

But it comes back with a unvigilant twist; I'll be alone and he won't care.

When he dies, will he care for me? In living, does he still?

My heart says _yes_- but another part of it is screaming _no._

I wish I could ask him so much. What I was worth to him nowadays. If I was still the world to him, because he is still mine. If it was still _our_ world, and not separate universes.

But yet- his soft hug, his warm body, with all that sincerity running through him, so strong, so powerful, so _gentle_, fuels me to smile at him again. Even though I know what will happen next.

And it's not him locking his prosthetic to the latch, flipping open the fake tailfin, and us flying into the sky for our morning meal.

That's an illusion.

Hiccup gets up, his reigning body towering over my laidback own.

"I want you to stay here, alright? Astrid and the others want to celebrate a party."

I don't even ask him why I'm not invited. Because I already know the answer.

Instead, I do what he had done to me all those times ago.

I fake a smile. Hiccup used to hide emotions before, so why can't I?

I do. But, unlike me, he falls for it.

"I knew you'd understand, bud. We can go flying afterwards, alright?"

A very reluctant nod from me brings a smile onto him.

"See ya." he says, turning around and walking downstairs, leaving me alone in his room.

_His_ room. The one thing that was never mine, and the one thing he never called ours.

The one thing he didn't even bother giving me an illusion for.

I almost let out a roar of pain as I jump to the window. I am just in time to see him running off towards the Grand Hall, where his father, mentor, mate, friends, are all present.

Save for one.

Why am I not _there?_

_Why is it not __**us**__?_

Is this called jealousy? That he is going to have fun, at the expense of my pain? That he doesn't even seem to care that I was near crying? That we are so distant now, that even the word _friend_ is too high of a word to describe of us now?

Pet _dog,_ maybe? Like the ones that waited in front of their master's house patiently, anticipating the return of their owners, but all the while wondering where their owners were, and why they weren't with them?

Or is even _that_ too high to call me now?

Sometimes I wished that I was more socialized. So I could talk to Stormfly over it.

But I have never said a word to her. She likes to keep herself with other Nadders.

Wait...

_Stormfly._

I shift my gaze from Hiccup entering the Hall to Stormfly, who is waiting just outside the Hall.

_She __was __invited, but __I __wasn't?_

I look around for the other dragons- and, sure enough, the Nightmare, the Gronkle, and the Twin Heads are all playing outside the hall. Do they even feel that they are being neglected at this very moment, that they are not being cared for, and in that place, pleasure from drinks, food, social contact are being consumed instead with the cost of another society breaking down?

Something begins to boil inside me. It slowly melts the happy feeling that comes up whenever he is happy, evaporating into the metaspace at an alarming pace.

It is anger. It is pain. It is jealousy.

_No. I am a Night Fury._

Stormfly is showing off her scales to any passers-by, with much success. Hiccup lets out a small whoop before entering the hall, arm in arm with Astrid.

_No. Don't. You'll-_

Something snaps inside me. My vision becomes cloudy, and I let my feelings take over. I cannot see, but I know where I am going, as if someone had pasted a set directions in my mind, it offering little help to soothe the burning rage at the moment.

I am flying through the window. I am landing on the ground next to his house. I am running towards the Hall as fast as I can. I am snarling like a wild animal. I am angry.

I reach the hall. It is full of voices, smells, and music. Stormfly is with the others by the side of the Hall, chatting more than actually guarding, like they're supposed to do.

The other dragons ignore me as I run past them, looking for Hiccup from the outside of the Hall, for I know that if the others can not get in, it makes me no more special.

_Hiccup. Come out, please. Please._

I sit down by the door, patiently waiting for my best friend to come to me. Waiting for him to tell this is all a big joke and give me a big hug. Waiting for him to break my reins that hold me to the ground and fly into the sky together. He will come. I waited three long weeks for Hiccup to recover from his wounds. This, I can wait.

Even if he doesn't need me now, who knows when he will?

I wait there for about half an hour before a very intoxicated Hiccup waltzes out of the room with his mate, on the verge of collapsing, trying to desperately get back into the Hall to rejoin the other dancing pairs. He is singing in a broken language. He is missing his left shoe. He loses his balance and falls backwards.

And I'm there to catch him as he does.

_Don't worry. I've got you._

His back arcs over my head, using it for support before his less drunken mate pulls him up.

"Ahh... nice catch..."

_Thanks._

"...Astrid..."

_**Astrid?**_

My eyes slit for a brief second. Is he too drunk to not notice the giant beast behind him?

Or does he simply not care, and pretend that _she_ caught his fall?

I grunt once to catch his attention. He swirls around on the spot, one arm around his mate's neck for support. She gives me a somewhat apologetic look that I turn down with a glare.

_You __did __**this **__to __him._

Or did she? Is it my own boring self, that he may have gotten tired of, and discarded, like a doll that failed to entertain its owner? What did I do? What did I _not_ do?

But I _have_ to take the anger out on someone. I'm not blaming myself on this one.

It's an illusion, but it's a strong one, and I'm not letting go of it anytime soon.

"Too... Toothless?" Hiccup's broken words combine to make a broken phrase.

_Yes?_ I think, looking at him with apparent concern and fear.

"What... are... you... do... ing... here?" his syllables come out slowly and forced.

_To __catch __you __in __case __you __fall_. I try to pull him by the arm, but he jerks away.

_Look, __Hiccup, __I __may __have __been __a __bad __friend_, _but __can __we __talk __about __thi_s_?_

"Why... are... you... not... in... the... house?" he says in a rougher, louder tone. "Why?"

_Buddy, __I'm __sorry-_ I plead desperately.

"_GET __BACK __IN __THE __HOUSE! GO!_" he roars at me with such drunken force that he falls over again, his arms flailing wildly to confirm his truly stoned state.

And I catch him again. He lands face first onto my awaiting snout, but his hands are now so coarse and slimy it is hard to imagine that he ever bonded with me with them.

He intoxicatedly pushes off me, yelling again the same phrase, the phrase that burns into my head like a fiery blast of fire, destroying all in its raging path, and scars the roads that fall to it.

"_WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GET __BACK __IN __THE __HOUSE! GO!_"

Something else inside me snaps.

It is anger. It is pain. It is jealousy.

It is _betrayal._

It does not matter that he is Hiccup, my best friend, my pride and joy, my shadow and light.

It matters that none of these are true to him anymore.

He does not want me anymore. He wants me to _**go.**_

And go, I do.

I turn straight around, take off past the dragons, and into the woods, not caring for a single thing in life, wanting only to get out of there, to leave that wretched place.

And as I run, I feel something wet leak out from my eye. I clouds my eyes briefly, before it leaves and splashes to the ground behind me as I continue running non-stop.

I know what it is right away, amid the adrenaline and raging fire in me.

It's a tear. I am crying.

Toothless, the mighty Night Fury, the friend of the most powerful Dragon Trainer in the world, is crying.

I do not even know how far I run. I want to expend all my energy into this laborious activity, to collapse below the tall pine trees out of exhaustion, to keep my mind from thinking _anything_ about Hiccup. Which is very hard, because I think of him all the time.

Even when he has just killed me internally.

_Hiccup._

He has shattered my heart. The very same heart he had given to me, all those years ago, the one that he filled up so much with love and caring, the one that took so rough a beating when Hiccup was unconscious, the one that was maintained, nurtured, _loved,_ all this time, is now no longer in one piece.

It has broken into fragments of devastated hopes and dreams.

Why it is still beating is only because it is only an illusion of where emotions truly come from.

But my metaphor has broken. My friendship is hanging by a thread. The thread that _I_ am weaving, pulling, trying ever so tenderly to keep it intact with the other side.

The thread that so loosely attaches me to whatever part of sanity I have left.

Hiccup does not love me anymore. He does not yearn for the caring that I have always given him anymore. He does not want the soft croon that I always sound to approve things that _we_ want. He does not want a wing to hide under anymore.

He does not need me anymore.

The truth is so painful, hurts so much, and feels so agonizing and awful that I would not even mind if my just burned down and my body taken away by the storm.

I... I just want to die.

What is my point of living now?

The fear of not having Hiccup by my side, once only an illusion, has now become so clear in my head, shining the most of all the foggy things that race through my head.

Hiccup doesn't need me anymore.

I want to die.

Hiccup doesn't care about me anymore.

I want to die.

I still care for Hiccup.

I want to die.

I still love Hiccup.

I want to die.

Of course, I can't, because it is not my time to go, and, more importantly, Hiccup has still got to love me in some way... right?

He doesn't. That's why I'm here. All he cares is about Astrid.

I want this misery to end.

**I want to die.**

Why... Hiccup, why? Why did I love you in the first place?

Why did you forge a forbidden friendship that you yourself broke?

Why did you kill the only fire in my heart with your very own words?

Why did I love that smile, that sincere feeling, that _love_?

I think of what would have happened if I did not. If I was still a robotic slave, that had no feelings of my own. If that spark of emotions never ignited inside me, never gave forth and showed me how _happy_ it was to be able to feel all these things around, I would have never felt happy. I would have never felt lonely. I would have never felt love and loved.

But I would never would have to feel pain this intense. I would never have to be the first dragon to cry, I would never feel the want to die because of _someone __else_, and I would never have to have all these feelings shattered right before my eyes.

Because you cannot lose what you do not have.

But you can lose what you once had. And I lost much more.

And do you know what hurts me the most?

It's the fact that I'll never be able to leave him, no matter how badly I may feel like it. Because he gave me back life. He gave me back the ability to fly. He saved my life on more than one occasion. He gave me reason when I did not know why. He gave me trust when I did not have any. He gave me _friendship._ He gave me _love._ I am infinitely indebted to him.

I will devote the rest of my life to making him happy, even if he does not care or know.

_He does not care._

A string snaps inside my head. Something has broken.

Something is not right.

_But who gets to say what's right and wrong? Him._

None of that matters anymore.

'Hiccup... what will I do to make you the same once more?'

_You could immortalize him, _a new voice says.

'Excuse me?' Am I truly insane now? Am I hearing thoughts of those deceased?

_I am the one to excuse you, Night Fury. I am a Changewing._

'Changewing?'

_You have never seen me before. It does not matter. I was only here to inspect a place to find fish, when I heard you crashing through the woods. You're hurt pretty badly._

I look at my own body, surveying the damage I have inflicted upon myself. My feet are blistered in several different places, a part of my top-left ear bleeding slightly, and a little scratch just above my right eye prevents me from seeing properly. My back is also aching terribly from all that running.

'Show yourself, then,' I call to the voice.

The elusive dragon reveals its slim form, bowing down in front of me as a form of respect. Not that I care about how much respect I get at the moment. I want _trust._

'I don't even care. I don't know the point in caring for anything anymore.'

_You do. Your partner does not care for you, right?_

'Yes. And because of that, I care for nothing-'

_How about making him care for you again?_

'That's not going to happen. He doesn't _care_ anymore.'

_Believe in the Equilibrium, Night Fury._

My eyes slit briefly.

'The Equilibrium?' I think. 'I haven't heard of that thing since I was born.'

_But you __**have**__ heard of it, _he says.

It's an ancient law of dragons, a law that all dragons learn upon birth. It mainly describes the laws of equality and how everything is balanced, but it itself also carries a small, yet powerful magic that dragons may use- at a price, hence the "equality". Sometimes, the price is already paid, and sometimes, you would have to pay for it later in your life. This magic can be summoned, but cannot be performed more than once per decade. It can be used to save your life from fatal situations, or restore a nesting area that was burned down. It could also make a non-dragon species pseudo-immortal and change in age. Improper casting of the immortal spell would result in death, much like if you cast the spell on yourself.

_I believe that you still have yours, strong one. You could use it to make him forever until your Equilibrium ends, which is your death, and in that time of forever, you could give him time to care for you again._

My eyes slit again. 'And why are you concerned about my personal problems?'

The Changewing gives off a small chuckle.

_Our species work in groups, _he says. _We can detect other dragons' problems, along with their solutions. My two friends are actually nearby, looking out for predators._

From his tone of voice, I know right away what he means. 'Me.'

He nods sadly.

_Night Furies are respected, but we know so little about your kind. I've never seen another one of your kin, something that I am sure neither have you._

'Yes, though I cannot care less at the moment.'

Hiccup... you could train these dragons if you were here.

_You don't really plan on preying on us... do you?_ He asks fidgety.

As a dragon, we hunt other dragons for meat when there are not enough fish in the sea for us all. But meat, I can find anywhere, and this Changewing seems to know the solution to my anger and pain somewhat.

'I'm not going to do anything until I can figure out how to put my Equilibrium on Hiccup,' my mind speaks aloud finally.

The Changewing lets out a sigh of relief, but recoils when I walk up to him slowly.

_W-What are you doing?_

'Tell me how to place the Equilibrium on other beings.'

_T- The Equilibrium? On others?_ he stutters.

To my best friend in denial, in fact.

'Yes.'

I back off, letting the Changewing relax a bit. Most dragons stay with their own kin, unless they are taken captive for whatever reason, and are very wary of other dragons unless domesticated, like Stormfly. I wonder if she cares about the state that I'm in.

No! Why am I... no. I've never ever _talked_ to her, why would she care about me? Why am I wanting care from others now, when Hiccup was always enough for me?

When Hiccup _is_ enough for me? Even though I'm not worth anything to him now? I must not... think of that. _He_ is enough. I do not need... Stormfly's care.

It is absurd, crazy, and driving me away from my true objective.

My true objective. My absolution. My insane will.

Something snaps inside me once again. I am losing my senses. But I don't care.

I will turn him into the young boy he once was, and let him stay with me forever.

Hiccup will be satisfied in me once more. Hiccup will love me again.

We will reforge our friendship. We will pretend that we were never apart.

And, finally, after enough time, we will never be apart. Hiccup...

This isn't an illusion. This is my resolve.

The Changewing is looking at me intently, trying to understand my motives.

_To use it for yourself is hard enough... but for others... your power must be very high indeed, to be able to pull off such a thing. I've never tried it before..._

Hiccup is what makes me me today. I will do it for him.

'Tell me how,' I say almost commandingly, fighting to stay calm.

_I-I thought all dragons were born knowing it. Or is this a Night Fury exception?_

'Tell me how to use it on a _human,_' I clarify, snorting.

The Changewing winces at the word _human._

I look at him piercingly, urging him to go on.

_Well, as you should probably know, putting the Equilibrium on others requires you to move the magical essence out of your body, and force it to make contact with your intended target. Since everything else that it will pass is __**not**__ the target, the essence will resist... a lot. I've seen dragons die trying to save their friends by using it... it's powerful, but only if you are, too. Otherwise, it will kill you._

I will do everything I have in my body to make him understand what I mean. Hiccup will spend more time with me... like the olden times. Even if he does not like it, he will soon enough. Because we used to be together. We've known how it was to be one.

_As vigorous as the power is, I believe that it will be fine if it makes contact with a human._

We will be one again... soon enough. No matter the cost.

_A human... with an Equilibrium. That will be a first._

Heh, heh...

_Still, it will require a massive of energy. You would pass out from it._

**Hah...**

_Night Furies are powerful, though, even though I've only ever seen one. Legends speak highly of you._

Eh, eh...

So is this what it's like to be insane? To have no cares for anything else except for that one desired goal? To not care about even the consequences of actions? To feel... free, to be driven by this unstoppable will? To shut away the guilt in a tiny box and throw it away?

_I feel... honored to be able to help you, Night Fury._

Insanity feels _good._ Must be better than intoxication.

_Night Fury?_

I snap at him, insane thoughts taking over. I try to hold on as much as possible before all breaks loose.

'Thank you, Changewing... it has been nice... to meet...' My words are deforming already. He can feel something wrong with me, too.

_Goodbye._

The Changewing bows once and scurries away. My own thoughts fly around in orbit around my goal, circling wildly and sending off sparks of hazardous light into the surroundings. My eyes shut, not wanting to open again, but to relish only in the happy thought that he will be with me once more.

_Hiccup... why must you torture me so..._

_Why... why does it feel... so good?_

_Hah... hah..._

_Hiccup... where are you? I need... you, bud._

_Heh..._

_I need... my point of living..._

_Hiccup... I need you._

_My rider._

_**My**__ rider._

_Did I use to say that there is only us? Think again._

_He is __**mine.**_

_**Heh...**_

These vicious thoughts obscure my mind so densely that it takes me several moments to register the loud voice that appears in the vicinity.

"Toothless? Toothless?"

_Who... is Toothless? There is only __**us**__..._

"TOOTHLESS!"

_Nngn... stop... bothering me already..._

I feel a hand rub my neck. Whose is it?

"Toothless! It's me! Hiccup!"

_Who... us? Toothless... and Hiccup?_

"Toothless! Listen to me! Please! Stay together!"

_Huh... together..._

My eyes open to see dares speak of together. Do they know how much is at stake now? Do they know how much they will gain, and how much more they will lose by being _together?_

_Who... are... you..._

"Toothless! Buddy!"

The image in front of me is strikingly green. It also smells of grass and mint... and me.

_Hic..._

My eyes fly wide open and I see him.

_**...cup...**_

It's him.

It's not an illusion.

_It's him._

_Hah... __**perfect**__..._

"Ah! Toothless! Are you OK, buddy? I was worried sick! What was-"

Had it been any time that was not now, I would have glared at him and showed me how angry I was at being neglected at his happiness. I would have told him, with my limited communication, that friends don't leave each other. They're supposed to look out for each other, comfort each other in happiness and sadness. I would have waited for him to apologize, then viciously lick his face to tell him that he was forgiven.

But not now.

Hiccup will finally become what I want him to.

_He will be with me._

_**Forever**__._

_**And now is the perfect time to start.**_

My brain begins relaying signals to send out the Equilibrium. My eyes flash blue, and my whole body jolts as wave after wave of concussive shocks rack my body, sending forth a series of screams from inside me, where the essence is, and how much it protests to come out. It shakes violently inside me, defying its owner's will in being used and taken away.

_But it will._

"TOOTHLESS!" Hiccup yells, trying to stop me from violently spasming each time a lightning bolt struck my body, little sparks flying off me in the process. I shake him away, but keep him in a conventional distance. He looks at me hysterically, helpless to do anything but watch me flail and screech from the release of the Essence of Immortality,

_Hiccup... _my insane thoughts take over me.

_Let's be friends forever..._

After a flash of white light, the essence is now suspended inside my open mouth, resisting the air around it and refusing to move around at all. I give it a nudge and wince painfully at how strong it shocks me back. But Hiccup will get the message, and he will come into contact with it.

_This is for you, Hiccup,_ I try to tell him. _Take it._

Hiccup looks uneasily at me.

_Well? What are you waiting for?_

Hiccup does not move.

_Ah... so you need... __**persuasion**__..._

I let out a roar of pain as I try to push the essence towards him with my open mouth. My body resists the very will to collapse onto its knees, to end this suffering that has stemmed from my use of powerful magic in the seemingly most horrifying way possible.

"TOOTHLESS!" Hiccup yells in fear.

_Yes, that's it. __**Come and get it**__._

_It's good for you._

Hiccup stares at me with utter disbelief and fear.

"Toothless... calm down, Toothless..."

_Not until you live with me until the end._

_**Hah...**_

To prove a point, I jerk my head downwards, beckoning him forward, but also touching the white-hot ball of electricity in the process.

I scream. So weak from a dragon so strong.

_Weakling._

"Toothless!" he looks around frantically for anything that will alleviate my pain. Doesn't he know that _he_ is the reason for my pain now? That if he just walks closer, it will all end?

He looks scared. Just like when he was young.

"Toothless... what are you trying to do?"

_Save you. Save __**us.**_

"Toothless... just slow down and tell me what's happening."

I insanely draw some disoriented runes into the ground. Hopefully, Hiccup knows how to read upside down.

**Powerful magic**

**Take it**

"P-powerful _magic?_" he looks at the ball as if it will charge up at him and strike. "Why?"

I snort and write again.

**You need it**

He is torn between doubt and guilt. I can sense it in him quite well. He is wondering what he should do. I hear something rustle from behind. I ignore it. I am so close to my goal...

"I... what... no!" he protests. "Wait! I need to talk to you properly!"

_Not going to happen. Hiccup..._

_**Hah...**_

"Toothle- NO!"

A large tree behind me snaps, sending its whole length down. I cannot move out of the way, for that essence of energy is still in my mouth, and should I move anywhere but backwards, I will get a heavy dose of shock. The falling tree, though, blocks my only exit.

_CRUNCH._

The heavy tree falls on my back, my back legs shaking to stay upright from all the pressure, my back aching in pain and bleeding as various pieces of sharp bark find its way into my scales. Yet, I do not move. I am intent on letting Hiccup stay with me.

_Take it... when I still have the energy to..._

"TOOTHLESS!" Hiccup yells, running to my side and trying to push the heavy tree trunk away. Despite all his masculinity and training, he cannot move it from my back.

My legs are starting to give away.

_The trunk... is getting very heavy..._

I give Hiccup one last look of apology as my legs fail me.

A string joins together in time for me to finally snap back to my senses.

_I'm sorry._

The ball protrudes my upper mouth as I fall down, causing powerful shocks to rebound all over my body as it repeatedly shocks by jaw, over and over, in a never ending cycle of pain, the cycle that is called life, called love, called suffering.

I scream one last time.

My body feels light and soft. I am not on the ground. I open my eyes and see that I am suspended in mid-air, somewhere in the thick clouds that I do not see anything beyond. I do not see Hiccup. I turn around and see that my scales are still bleeding, but there is no pain. My tongue no longer contains the ball of lighting that caused me so much pain.

My head feels empty. It feels like it has a lot of room to think of what just happened. It has a lot of room to think of what's happening now. It feels... sane.

I finally have control over my feelings again.

So _this_ how is how it's like to feel sane and know how being insane is. It feels _bad._

Guilt begins rushing over me like a wave of torrential waters that seep into every part of my brain, demanding to be felt, demanding answers. My mind floods with thought once again.

_I tried to use up the magic in me to make Hiccup immortal until I died. I tried to force him to do it. I did it against his will. I ended up hurting myself more than him._

_I hurt him. Didn't I once think that I wanted him to live life to his fullest, but only his fullest? That he has fun when he can? That I will be the dragon that will wait for him? That life is only fun when you only have a short time to enjoy it, but still have time nonetheless?_

_I wanted him to be happy. But now I've made both us feel more pain than we can ever imagine. I don't care if he's mad at me, or if he doesn't care about me anymore, or if he can live perfectly without me._

_I failed him. I failed my best friend._

_No. His is not mine._

_I failed him. At being __**his**__ friend._

A small gash above my eye reveals a small stream of blood flowing down past my eyes, as if I was crying blood, even though I don't feel anything at all.

_This is not what friends do to each other. Friends laugh, have fun, and treasure the tiniest moments of happiness that they share. They forgive each other and set aside any disagreements that may arise between them. If one side becomes distant, the other will not falter- instead, they respect the other's decisions and accept the inevitable. They talk it out and see what happens after that. __**They don't run away when they're angry**__._

I am selfish. I wanted to keep Hiccup with me. I wanted to change him back to his carefree younger self, so we could once again share sunsets and fish together. I wanted to keep Hiccup with me, without caring if he wanted it or not. And now I've worried him even more.

What have I done? What will Hiccup say to me?

Where _is_ he? I don't even care where I am. I want to know where _he_ is.

Just so I can see him, happy, even if he wants me no more.

I voice rings through my head. It's oddly familiar.

"Toothless..." at these words, the smell of mint and grass rush into my nostrils.

_Hiccup! _My ears perk up immediately, looking for the source of that perfect sound, but I notice that it's not coming from around me. It's coming from inside me.

From my heart. But it's not an illusion anymore, what these feelings are.

I feel relieved. Just to hear his voice. Just to know that he's safe.

"I've been a terrible friend, Toothless. I'm sorry." his voice shakily continues, as if he had been crying for quite a while.

_What?_

"All these years, we've been spending less and less time together. I thought that you didn't mind. I thought that dragons were independent creatures. But I never realised how interdependent you were, Toothless. I thought that the morning hug would do the trick. I didn't know what to talk about anymore, so I stayed silent. I thought that going to the party alone would be fine. I was horribly wrong."

_I... _I am at a loss of words to say. I won't say that you're wrong... but...

"I ended up causing the biggest mistake of my life. I turned you down. Astrid told me when I sobered up. Told me that you had run off into the woods..."

_She said that to you?_

"...So I followed. I searched for hours until I found you. And... there you were, trying to give me some magical power that I could only guess to be as a gift of apology."

_I wanted... to make you happy._

_Isn't that most important thing? You, happy. I couldn't care less about my own self._

_It's always __**you,**__ Hiccup, who needs to be happy. Because your life is short._

_Because you are the only friend I know._

"And, well, you gave me it, Toothless. You gave me this power."

_You... got it? But..._

Fear fills me as I once again realise that I've made a mistake.

_He shouldn't be immortal. I... felt too possessive of him then. But now... I just want him to be happy. Age or not._

_He's going to hate me once he finds out._

"But I don't want it, Toothless. I have the most important power of all already."

_Whew. _I let out a sigh of relief, but there is no sound from my nostrils. Instead, another thought fills me instead.

_What power?_

"Friendship, Toothless. The bond that kept us together all these years when you thought that all was gone between us, the string that latched on to us tightly and we never wanted it to left go. If it did, you would be the one to mend it. The caring, love, and happiness that stir inside us whenever we see each other- the fuels that allow us to do anything together."

My eyes slit. _Why are you telling me this?_

But I'm talking to air. He can't hear me.

But it's a nice feeling, to think that he can hear me. It's a nice _illusion._

"Astrid can be Astrid all she wants. I might love her, but I love you too. Can _she_ dominate the skies with Stormfly like we do? Can I and she ever know each other like we do?"

_I don't dare answer that question._

"No, she can't. She may become a large part in my life soon, but you will always be more."

_Hiccup... don't you love her?_

"She may become my mate in the future. But does that mean I must forget the bonds that have carried me through everything that she was not related to? Before she came into the picture, before she admitted her appreciation and acceptance to me, you were there, Toothless. I may love you and Astrid in different ways, but you always know whose came first."

My body feels numb from shock and doubt.

_...Won't you mate and have kids? Why would you care for me, then?_

"I want to have kids. But I want you to be there with me, too, so we can teach the children together and show them why we are known as the ultimate riders of Berk? To show how much we love each other, and it doesn't have to be anything above nor below that? That our happiness is always the most important? That we are... unbreakable?"

_Why are you saying all of this when I'm like this is beyond me, but... I feel comforted._

_Like the olden days._

"You've done so much to me and I haven't even gotten the time to repay you. There are even some things that I forget, and happy things that may have come from you without me knowing, and I can never repay it all. So... thank you."

_Thank you?_

"Thank you for our friendship, for our platonic love, for every moment that you are with me, by my side, looking after my back and clumsy personality. Thank you for the fish and the fire and the little rumbles you give me and the yanks on my blankets to get me up. Thank you."

_For what again?_

"Thank you for being the best friend ever. I swear, things are going to get better for you now."

_For us._

"For us."

I snort. My feelings are rushing back to me now, like Hiccup's morning scent.

_You choose to be cliche __**now**__?_

"I'll spend all day with you from now on. You'll be the happiest dragon in the world, bud.

"And I'm not going to trade it for anything else. Not even Astrid."

_Don't let her hear you say that, at any rate._

"As for the power... I think you need it more."

_Huh?_

"Silly dragon... getting himself injured just for me... does he even know..."

_Know what?_

"...That I've been training all these years so I could keep him safe?"

I swear that I did just hear that from inside my heart.

_What?!_

"That the log hauling was so I could carry Toothless should time need be," Hiccup ponders to himself more than to me. "That the sword fighting was in case Toothless could not fight for himself. I would be there, to help him. He saved me, and will I save him if need be. I would give up my life for him, even if it means I've broken the promise."

_Over my dead body,_ I say, but I feel this welling feeling inside my body. He's been doing all this... for _me?_ I'm the reason why he's improving himself?

Come to think of it, I've been a lot of reasons to why he's improved himself over time.

"Because when I said that I'd live life to the fullest, I meant that I'd be a part of _Toothless_ living his life to the fullest. I am happy where I am now. It is him who needs happiness.

_I do?_

"And so... I hope... I hope this works."

A flash of white light engulfs me, blinding out my eyesight temporarily and tickling my sides as my wounds burn ever so slightly, as if it was a bakery that was heating its buns.

My wounds are healing. They are sealing shut, baby soft scales taking their places.

My body becomes heavier, my head crystal clear and my sanity fully intact.

"YES!"

Suddenly, I am on the soft grass again. I feel the ground below and the air and the aches subsiding as the wounds melt away into nothingness. I groan as I open my eyes, first noticing the fallen tree rolled down into a grove nearby, then the now-nonexistent ball of electricity, then-

"Toothless!"

_Hiccup?_

My eyes dash around and I see him coming from around my left side, crying madly and taking my head and holding me tightly, as if it was still morning, still seeking for warmth that he desperately needs.

It never occurs to me how much he needs it now.

"Dear... Toothless, you scared me..."

My eyes open wide, allowing a single tear to fall out onto his back. He pulls his head back, not letting go of the hug, and wipes the oncoming tear out of my eye.

"Don't cry, Toothless... you're safe now." His soft hands mean it this time. But I revel in something more important.

_**You're**__safe now._

"I'm... sorry. For everything, alright? I'll never leave you like that again."

_I still feel guilty, you know. I won't act like that again._

"I promise... I'll be like that young Hiccup all those years ago, alright? I'll be like that. Just for you."

I look at him with the tiniest sliver of question.

And it's gone as he gives me the biggest smile ever.

_Just for __**us.**_

He breaks away from the hug and gives me the happiest look of all.

"I never knew, you know, that of all that time with Astrid, I never felt as happy as this. That's because I love her, but I always want more of her, see. It's a love accompanied with desire. And I have to continually satisfy my lust for her..." he blushes coyly. "But with you, I don't need anything more. Neither of us want lust or any of that dirty stuff, even hate it, because we already have all we need. We have each other. We satisfy each other with care and tenderness that makes you and I us. We can never meet for a million years and when we reunite, we'd still be the same. We have the power to move mountains and dry oceans when we're together. We never need to be more happy, for it is this state that makes the happiness eternal. And we're perfectly fine by that. And it's this kind of simple, never-changing happiness..."

I let the rest of the sentence finish itself in my head, for he is too emotional to go on any further.

I nudge him to tell him that it's alright.

_All that matters is that you're happy._

_With me._

He grins at me broadly.I flash him one, too.

"So... I think... I know."

I don't move, knowing what he will do next, as he walks to my back, climbing onto it and snapping the prosthetic into place.

"Ready, Toothless?"

_Yes._

The tailfin opens. And when it does, so does my spirits. I spread out my wings, caring for nothing except for the older boy on my back, the boy who has sworn to become young again, to care and love me once again.

"Let's go, bud."

I roar and take off into the open, our happiness as broad as the sky itself. Possibly even more. Who knows? Maybe there is more to the limitless sky.

I don't care, though.

Hiccup is back.

That is enough for me.

* * *

**L/N: Finally! I manage to get this through. Kudos to LuMezenga for this one. She made the whole process of editing incredibly easy.**


	3. Adulthood

**For those who didn't think there would be a sequel, here it is, and for those who saw it coming (are there?), here it is. :)**

* * *

Hiccup is a full grown man now.

I can see his body from the place where I sleep perfectly; long, lean, and somewhat muscular. He no longer wears the little green undershirt of his anymore, but instead a slightly tarred (but still very, very, green) clothing that a leader would wear. He once told me that it was because it reminded him of my eyes, but I know that he doesn't need a lot to remember me (or my eyes). I'm always there when he needs me.

In his bed, his chest rises and falls softly, as if he was just a little boy still learning how to become a viking with the dreams of exploring the world.

It reminds me of when he was so young and naive. When he thought that everything was possible and anything could happen, and nothing would ever go wrong. When he was running around, throwing snow and knowing that it would never melt. He's grown up so much, and even though his innocent thoughts are gone, it's his strong sense of judgement and acceptance of the world that now encompasses his mind, just like any sensible adult human would be.

I've grown up a lot as well. And it's thanks to Hiccup that I know that things don't last and time turns flames into ashes. He probably didn't grow up because of me at all,because I was so keen on protecting him, but I've certainly come to terms with my aggression and instincts that hold me a dragon. I'm less impulsive, but yet more swift, because of him.

His blanket is far too short for him, the lack of wool on Berk something that has been a natural problem for generations, but he always covers himself with it to bed anyway. In his sleep, he scratches his muscular arms, even though there's nothing irritating him.

All of these years that have passed for the boy and the only thing that has changed in his room is the bed. The old one was, well, old, and too small for him, so he built a new one. He tried to build a bed for me once, but it was kind of too small for me and I couldn't scorch it like I could scorch the ground. It didn't feel right, and Hiccup acknowledged that.

It brings a smile to my face whenever I see him turn out to be the man that no one had ever thought of. Well, they certainly did as he grew up- but who would have thought that the boy who couldn't lift a single log to save his life become so powerful and… attractive? He has girls jumping over him from everywhere now, and it makes me snort whenever I see him like that too. It's mating season for the humans now, which is peculiar for me because it seems to be any time after a human reaches adulthood.

My ears itch at the thought, for too now is mating season for dragons. Or Night Furies, at the least. But since I've never seen any other Night Furies (let alone those hot, hot females), I haven't really gotten the chance to mate. And maybe for the better as well. How will I possibly be with Hiccup and my mate at the same time? She and the children definitely won't like me following Hiccup around all day either. So it's best if I don't have any.

And yet, I long for one. All males do that. But… I can't leave Hiccup.

Night Furies are solitary creatures. We live on our own, away from humans and other dragons alike. When we mate, we become even more protective, and we show signs of heightened aggression towards bypassers. Though I don't remember where I was born, I do remember that it was a clear ocean surrounding a small cave- and there was water as far as my eyes could see. There was never a dragon in sight, either. My parents (who I left as soon as I could fly) called it Christmas Island or something- it's a long story.

So it's either be with Hiccup or my mate- I wouldn't have any problems being around Hiccup and my mate, of course, but _she_ definitely would- much like how Hiccup dislikes having me around when he's… well, you know.

"What are you looking at?" Hiccup'd snap at me whenever that girl, Astrid nears him and kisses him full-fledgedly on the mouth. I understand that this is because he is protective of his mate, so you get the idea. It was long ago, when and how I did not witness, that Astrid agreed to be Hiccup's. They said their vows in the woods, I heard from him. It made me really happy and really sad for a while, because now I know that Hiccup will truly be happy, but I'm going to get less and less time from him, because he has someone else who he cares more about. But like I said, I'm fine with that. and Hiccup proved to me one day that he still truly cared for me, even if he didn't admit that he cared for Astrid more.

He loves Astrid. Astrid loves him. There's no arguing there.

I absentmindedly scratch the rock underneath me, my claws retracted in order to not cause any noise. Like the rock, things erode over time, but frankly, it's no big deal for me.

I'm happy where I am. As a loyal friend and someone to lean on for support when his lover isn't enough. He's the chief of Berk now, because his father is getting older and older (like everyone else, of course), and he can't really rule any more with the state he's in, worn out and done with his job. So Hiccup, rounding his third decade, has finally taken the spot for the next leader. And while he doesn't look a lot like the person he once was as a kid, I can tell you, he still has that smile and "Toothless!" phrase that he always says when he sees me, and when I see him. He's always happy to spare some time for me, be it playing around (he likes to play tag with me, even if he almost always loses), sharing more of his stories as a Berkian leader, or, of course, flying. We still do that every day, and amid his tight schedule, be it with Astrid, the village, or his father, he always finds time for us alone by the end of the day to just take off into the sky and let our burdens fly away with the wind, filling in its place the joy and freedom of being one and unified. He doesn't admit it, of course, but he seems a lot more relaxed around me then with the other people. And I'm proud to be that friend for him.

Well, now that Hiccup is stirring, I might as well wake him up. Believe me, after all these years we've been together, the scrawny boy/man _still_ takes forever to get up. He doesn't slack off a lot anymore, because he has a village to run, but I still have to drag him out of bed every morning. And it's fun for me to do that. Gives me something to laugh about every day.

"Tooooth…" he grumbles in his sleep, his voice deep and murmuring. To be honest, it's a bit better than the high-pitched voice of the young boy, because now he sounds more commanding and strong, capable of defending those who he cares. Exactly what I wanted him to be.

My ears perk up at these words, crooning slowly in thought. _Tooth?_ He's rarely ever called me that before.

I prance around his bed slowly in wonder, curiously thinking of what he'd be thinking of to say my name in his sleep. Usually he says Astrid's name or he doesn't say anything at all. Sometimes he comes back home late and even _smells_ of her. I don't know what he could do to smell of another human, but I guess we're close enough that we smell like each other anyway. He smells of pine and mint, whereas I smell of fish and scales. Together, we must smell pretty weird. But we never seem to tell each other about it. Nor have I seriously smelled him before. That sounds pretty gross.

"Toothless!" he yells suddenly, getting up and looking around furiously with a glint of vindict in his eye.

_Hrm?_ I ask, cooing as I rest my head on the bed. It's soft and comfy, but not warm enough to suit my sleeping styles. I'd personally prefer Hiccup. Especially since he has grown enough for me to actually rest my snout onto his stomach.

"Hey… Toothless!" he says, getting to his senses and spreading out his arms. I move my snout into his arms happily as he gives me a huge hug. "Good morning!"

_What was that all about?_ I croon, shifting my head in inquiry. I know, I know. He can't hear me. But I like to pretend that he can. He answers most of my questions as if he knew, anyway. I just need to croon and he'll answer. He just needs to sigh and I'll comfort him.

"Oi… I was actually going to surprise you," Hiccup says, rubbing the back of my snout with his now coarse, but still tender hands. His body smells are quite strong in the morning, and I'm not talking about mint or pine. "I wanted to get up before you did for a change. I had it in my mind all last night."

_Maybe that's why you got up late,_ I snort. _Because you were thinking too much._

"Oh, well…" Hiccup says, pulling out of the embrace. "Today's my birthday."

I nod. _Again,_ I think in my head.

"Again."

I snort. Hiccup gives me one of those awkward smiles.

Yep. It's his birthday. Again. You should be bored of this by now, because every 365 night cycles it's his birthday again, like how it will be your birthday again within the range of 0 to 365 days, and to me, it's just something that you count to make sure your memory is still intact. How old am I now? I don't really care. What really matters is Hiccup's age and how he's still getting older. I don't want him to, but it's something I've learnt to deal with. He's getting older, I'm getting older (on a minimum scale, because I'm already fully mature as a body), and the village is getting older, and the world and the universe are getting older, just like they always have. If I could stop time for Hiccup, I would, but alas, the universe does not grant wishes like Hiccup gives me hugs.

I snort, getting up from my sitting position and trudging silently around him. He looks so innocent right now, rubbing his eyes lazily, waking up from a sleep without knowing a thing in the world, letting his thoughts be his world, letting the world around his world be nonexistent. In reality, he is no longer innocent. He is a grown up, a large man with a small beard (that he cuts every day), a person who knows of the ways of the village and the ways of love. He no longer wakes up thinking that the world is a place where happiness blooms from the most random of places, but a place where happiness only comes when you go and search for it.

He swings his legs off the bed, landing squarely on the ground and getting up next to me. "Well, in any case, I'll be off to the village now. Just gotta look good… though I don't see the point why."

I nod, cooing quietly as he puts on his more formal garments.

"Gee, you're quite the prerogative, aren't you, to be looking at the Chief as he dresses," he jokes as he puts on a large woolen coat, which had once been his father's.

I snort, resisting the urge to scorch his clothes. He doesn't have a lot to spare.

"So, it looks like a special day. I really wish you could come with me, Toothless, but my work… well, you know my work."

I coo understandingly, but inside I feel a small pang of disappointment. I was hoping that I'd be able to go with him today.

It's been like this ever since he was made chief by his father. He's become so busy that he can't afford to have me nagging him all the time. Besides, the population of the village has grown a lot, without the dragons destroying the village every few weeks, and there isn't quite enough space for a huge dragon like me to walk down the streets anyway. Plus, my curiosity would end up with me breaking something, which wouldn't be all too good for his public image.

My drooped expression gives away my thoughts, and Hiccup's quick to notice that.

"I know, Toothless. I don't want to, either. Who leaves their friend in their house all day?"

I snort slightly, nudging very pointedly at his side. I could be anywhere, really, but there isn't really anywhere to go. Plus, I have to be on alert in case Hiccup needs me, so I can't be snatching fish from the docks or something.

He sighs. "I know, Toothless."

I warble, licking his hand playfully. After all this time, I am still stupidly optimistic about the world. Well, mostly because of Hiccup, but who knows?

He crouches down and rubs my snout gently.

"It's not like we're apart, though. You're always here to listen to what I say, and you never ignore me. I don't know what I'd do without, Toothless. There are a lot of things that I can only tell you alone."

My memory, which has hardly faded over the years with Hiccup, because he is someone worth thinking about, flips back to the first few days when Hiccup became Chief. There was a big party and everything, and I got to see the other teenagers now fully grown up; Snotlout is now the leader of building infrastructure and making new weapons to defend Berk. The twins, stupid as they may have been in their youth, have become forgers (which is not something a stupid person could do) and make iron materials (and test them on each other). Fishlegs is a teacher at the Mead Hall, which has replaced the Dragon Training Academy as a place to learn about dragons. Astrid is busy with being, you know, Hiccup's mate. And managing the ports.

"I'm glad you're still with me in all of this," Hiccup says, giving me another small hug. I snort, as to tell him, _Get to work already, you lazy human._

I remember circling the clouds above the village, the infrastructure below hidden beneath the mass of white, innocent clouds that roll their way over in the endless sky, but there always seems to be some clouds hovering over the endlessness of the world. Hiccup used to let me help in his running the village by flying around the village, but there was always the sense of duty in there, and we couldn't fool around like we used to, so we stopped after a while. When we're alone together in the air, the impossible becomes possible, the nature blooms into magic, and in friendship does the care show in its most treasured value.

"Alright, alright," he says, rolling his eyes. "Though I know that you still feel bad."

I let out a small croon as I admit these feelings. Of course he likes to voice his thoughts to Astrid as well. But they're mostly thoughts of love and reminding each other how much they love each other, but for the two of us, Hiccup and I, we don't need to tell each other that we care. Because deep down, we can never be apart, no matter how far we are from each other, and we always know that we care. This is the thing about friendship. No matter what part of the ship we're in, we're still always in the ship. And we know that we're still in the ship together, and we don't need to tell each other that 'We're still both in this ship,' because it's obvious that we are. And I don't know what I'd do without him on the ship. I'd sink for sure. Like I almost have over the course of the time we've been together.

"Just don't try to feel _that_ bad," Hiccup says, mumbling as he gets his viking helmet and extra clothes out. "I don't want my birthday to be soggy."

I stick out my tongue and close my eyes, as if to express disgust at the very thought. He laughs. I mean, who likes soggy food?

I croon at my own thoughts. Wait, or was it soggy birthday? Or does he mean that his eyes are soggy?

Oh, well. It doesn't really matter, as Hiccup pulls away and heads downstairs. I follow him, because I'd have nothing to do otherwise.

"Hi, dad!" Hiccup waves to his father enthusiastically, who is eating silently at the wooden table.

"Good morning, son," Stoick greets, smiling as his son enters the room. There are several plates of food lined about, and a large basket of fish nearby.

"Eat up, you boys. Especially you," he nods towards Hiccup, gesturing to the massive amounts of food on the table. "You have a busy day ahead of you."

I waste no time in diving into the fish basket, gobbling up whatever its interiors hold, savoring the taste of each fish that passes my tongue. Pre-chief Hiccup would fly with me to the sea for breakfast, but since that's not possible anymore, Stoick often gets food for me, and for that I'm grateful.

"You bet, dad," Hiccup says, his enthusiasm from those teenage years finally bursting with emotions and colours. He sits down on the table while I eat right next to him, showing far less dignity than him. He looks at me devouring the fish hungrily.

"Wow!" he says, impressed with the amount of food in the basket. "Where did you get all that fish?"

"I turned out to be a fine fisherman," Stoick deadpans, and they both laugh. "It's a lot easier than running a village, anyway."

"Must be," Hiccup says to the old man, who has now lent his strength in feeding the village by the docks, which is something that he has been doing for most of his career before, anyway. "But all of this?" He gestures to the massive amount of food laid out on the table. "You didn't have to, dad."

"Consider it a birthday present from me," Stoick says, giving him a smile. "Though it might not be the best you'll get today."

"It's awesome, dad, thanks," Hiccup says, wolfing down his food quickly, but not messily. He must be really excited. "I appreciate it a lot."

"You're appreciative for a lot of things," he says, gesturing to all of Hiccup. "That's the son that I've known of."

"Thanks, dad," Hiccup says, grinning and he finishes his breakfast. He gets up and hugs his father once, and then turns to me. "Alright, Toothless, I'm going now-"

Just then, the door nearly crashes down as Hiccup's mate, Astrid, almost literally bounces in, sweaty but quite satisfied with herself.

"Astrid!" Hiccup yells, running into her arms as she pulls him right in- and kisses him wildly on the lips.

"Mmph- mm!" Hiccup says in surprise, but doesn't fight Astrid's passionate kiss. Stoick turns away and chuckles, but I stay rooted in spot, my eyes open in utmost interest.

_So this is how humans woo each other,_ I think to myself. _Though I never thought that it would be this…. uh, nevermind._

"As Hiccup opens his eyes during the kiss, and sees me staring at the two curiously," his cheeks instantly go red, his embrace faltering a bit.

"Astrid…" he says dazedly, still lost in that wonderland bliss. "We're in front of… you know?"

"I know," she says, stealing another kiss onto his cheek. "That's how you know that I'm serious."

Behind me, I hear Stoick grunt something like "By Odin you are."

"What have you done this time?" he asks, out of breath as the beautiful blonde girl (who now has long hair) holds his shoulders playfully.

"I did the basic routines for you," she says in her most joyful voice. "Which means you have the whole day off!"

"You… do?" he asks, surprised and totally taken aback. "Thanks."

Though my spirits lighten at her words, because Hiccup will finally get to be free for a day, my heart sinks because I know who Hiccup will choose to spend time with; Astrid, of course. He's going to take Astrid on a long walk somewhere, and I'm going to have to sit in the room as if it were any other day. Because they certainly won't appreciate me being around.

My ears perk up at her next words, though.

"I know right? I'll be chiefing the rest of the day for you!" she says, throwing her arms up in the air. "Isn't that, like, the best birthday present ever?"

I stand upright immediately, almost knocking a chair backward in surprise.

"Wha… what?"

"Of course!" she says, hugging Hiccup. "You'll get to do whatever you want the whole day! Like flirt with Toothless," she jokes, winking at me, and I recoil in fear.

"Just kidding," she says blowing me a kiss from Hiccup's front. "Oh, yeah, and Fishlegs said that he discovered that sandstone melts into something really glassy. He said it might be something that could be fit on windows, to keep the snow out but the view intact."

I roll my eyes, sitting back down in exasperation. A small smoke cloud forms from my snout as I huff out air.

"I hope you're not serious about the flirting thing," is all Hiccup can say, hugging her back quite awkwardly, causing me to laugh. Or snort.

"But of course!" she says. "Everybody knows that you loooooove Toothless."

Hiccup rolls his eyes this time, and Stoick lets out the smallest of chuckles.

"I love Stormfly, too," she says, pulling out of the hug. "But I love you more."

A _really_ awkward silence fills the air, which I break by smacking Hiccup's back with my tail.

"Ow- uh, yeah, thanks, Astrid. I love you too," he says, shooting a glare at me. "_You are going to pay._"

I make my most innocent smile ever, causing Astrid to laugh.

"I'll spend some time with you at night to make up for now," she says in a seductive voice, and after another kiss, leaps out of the door and goes straight for the village.

A really, _really,_ awkward silence follows as Stoick and I eye Hiccup with a 'you're not serious' look.

"What're you looking at?" he snaps at me. I snort in response.

"Quite the lover you have there, Hiccup," Stoick calls, turning back to eat the rest of his food.

"Quite the family man," he says, with an embarrassed look, his freckles not really helping at all to hide his exquisite burning face. He turns back to me, and I look at him hopefully.

"C'mon, Toothless, let's go do what chiefs in their free time do," he says, giving me a smile.

_Sure!_

I tackle him down, licking his face furiously at the new developments. Me? With Hiccup? _All day?_

All hail whatever gods there might exist out there! Though I should curse them too for not giving me more.

I croon happily as I follow him out the door. I turn back to see Stoick, a man who once tried to kill me, but now a man that I am tolerant with, maybe even respect, smiling at me.

"Thanks for being with my son," he mouths with a wink as I watch him curiously. I croon and follow Hiccup outside, closing the door with my tail behind me.

"Well, that was unexpected," Hiccup says, his face still slightly red.

_Wonder when she ever got that hyperactive,_ I mutter to myself, but still smiling nonetheless.

"In any case, you know what we're gonna do," Hiccup says swinging his leg over my back, the prosthetic (which has been remade over time) clanking as it makes contact with the metal mechanism of my leg.

Like every flight I've ever had with Hiccup, I feel a surge of power rush through me, coursing from my head down to my legs, my wings spreading out in eagerness, my legs tingling and ready to leave the ground.

"Time for liftoff," Hiccup says, patting my side excitedly.

I roar, pushing my feet off the ground powerfully and letting my wings take the two of us into aerial flight, our shapes blurred to the normal eye as shoot through the sky, the winds blowing past us with magnificent speeds, chilling our bodies, but not our hearts, which are blazing with emotions of freedom, happiness, and most importantly, care.

"Awesome!" Hiccup yells, thrusting his arm into the air in triumph. I follow his actions with a roar of my own, doing a small mid-air spin to let off the rushing feelings that blow through my body like the wind does, blasting underneath my wings with every flap, propelling us farther and farther into the seas where no land lies, where no burdens ever come across us.

If life is meant to be lived, then this is the true meaning of living. To be free, to be with those you care about, to be the one that provides those you care about the happiness and love. To be a friend, to be able to fly, to be able to care- these are the points in living.

At one point, the wings are so strong that our ears hear nothing but the sound of speeding air, to which Hiccup brings his body close to mine- at the rate that we're going, it's going to be easy to fall off. But that'll never happen when I'm watching. By the time that I've slowed down, Hiccup is shivering.

"Hey, that was super fast," he pants dazedly, hugging me tightly in order to get warmer again. I descend into a glide to let Hiccup recover. "I never knew you could fly that fast."

I coo, turning around in small circles as Hiccup marvels at my also recently newfound speed. My wings are slightly tired out from the simple, yet powerful stunt, but with Hiccup on my back, I feel like I could keep flying forever. But if he wants to rest, then so will I.

"That was awesome," he says, getting back into his normal position and turning the prosthetic back towards Berk. "We're definitely doing that again tomorrow."

I nod, my legs tucked in tightly as I begin to fly back towards the village. The sky is strangely cloudless, as if the weather itself is also celebrating Hiccup's birthday. It's unusual for Berk to be cloudless. It's usually either cloudy or murky.

As we head back, we pass by the wooden tower, which connects to the iron arena, both of them completely neglected and forgotten, eerily free of both dragons and humans that would otherwise roam the areas together in harmony. We land on the rocky grounds not far from it. As soon as he gets off me, he scratches his chin, his mind in deep thought.

"Mm…"

"Hey… Toothless," he says eventually, patting my side gently. I croon in a questioning answer. "How about we go demolish the arena?"

_What?_ I nudge his side, following his side with in interest. _Why?_ My mind races with the possibility of destroying what was once the place where dragons were captured and tortured… and then later trained. Irony? Maybe. Contempt? Depends on the dragon of choice.

"It's been such a huge thorn to the new dragons here," Hiccup explains, gesturing to the dragons beyond the arena as they play around. "They hear what the other dragons say about it, about what it used to be. They lose trust in us and fly away." He picks up a hammer from the forge (that has been given back to Gobber) and swings it around in excitement. "Besides, I'm chief, and I get to do whatever I want now. Mostly."

I coo, watching from my distance as a boy runs around with a Terror. The village has grown so much under Hiccup's leadership. Dragons are now accepted as citizens of Berk, and they are free to come and go as they please. Sometimes the dragons bring fish with them as a sign of thanks. Some just come to rest, but it is assured that their stay will be safe and sound. The former dragons of this place, namely Stormfly and co., are in charge of keeping the new dragons under control. Just like how Hiccup and the other former teens keep the humans under control.

We can see the port from here. Stoick is hauling in another net of fish onto land. My mouth drools slightly at this, the saliva running down my left in a small trickle.

"Hungry?" Hiccup chuckles, walking towards the arena. "You just ate, you know."

I let out a snort, poking at his stomach with my paw. _So did you._

"Ow! Alright…" he grumbles. "I'm sort of hungry too. Your breakneck flight took all the appetite out of me, though."

Apart from meat and fish, that Hiccup has strict regulations on keeping the consumption rate under control, the place even has agriculture, with fields of corn and potatoes to keep throughout the whole year. There are proper ships that lie in proper ports that trade with other villages. And there have been no attacks from either dragons nor other villages with the power of humans and dragons combined. We are an independent village that no one can deny.

And this is where I feel home the most. With Hiccup.

As we cross the wooden bridge that has fallen into disrepair, Hiccup tries to find something to keep me occupied. I can sense him thinking about it, if not by a large margin. I believe he still feels guilty for, if I daresay, neglecting me all those years before, even if it _was_ all those years before and he did apologize. Maybe he's still trying to make up for all of it. But whatever he's doing, he's having fun too. And that's enough for me.

"Hey, Toothless, don't you have a mate somewhere?" Hiccup asks, his long hair striking with his tunic as he walks along, waving off the people that approach him.

I let out a small growl, shaking my head in frustration.

_I've considered finding one. I wasn't smart back then._

"Oh," Hiccup says, his face falling. "I'm sorry."

I coo softly in response. I don't want him to feel bad in any way, but certainly he brought this upon himself. And I'm going to do my best to make the burden as small as possible.

"But… don't you want to?" he asks, looking at me curiously.

I growl a bit louder, but Hiccup chooses to not keep his mouth shut.

"I mean… it doesn't matter if you don't, but if you do… I'm hindering you, right?"

My ears perk up despite my increasingly louder growls.

"Like, you could go looking for all the females you've ever wanted in the world, Toothless," he says, "But instead, you're stuck here, on Berk, with me."

_I think you've acknowledged this before,_ I growl, nudging his side irritably. _And I don't want a mate… that much._

I consider the thoughts in my head. Finding a mate… repopulating what little population my kind has… having children… teaching them how to be strong. How to live life and have adventures like I had with Hiccup. All of these urges clash with the very mentality of my love of Hiccup. If I left him, wouldn't I be betraying him? Wouldn't everything that he's given me all amount to them being given to a female that I hardly even know of? She would never give me the friendship that Hiccup had.

But to be in love… it's something that I've thought of before, but never really became something worth thinking about in my mind. Especially after I met Hiccup. He gave me, is giving me, and will give me all the love I will ever have experienced. I don't need… I don't need… a mate, right?

"Think about it, Toothless," Hiccup says, patting my head. "I'd feel awfully bad if my best friend was rejecting his needs just because of me."

_But... I_ **need** _to be with you,_ I protest, growling in frustration. _The last time that I wasn't…_

"I don't want you to leave," he says quickly, not quite meeting my eyes with the fear of losing me. "But if you have to do what you have to do, I'm not going to stop you."

_Don't…_ I growl through bared teeth. _Don't talk about it. I'm never… to leave you._

"Toothless, even I have my desires," Hiccup admits, his cheeks going red at the thought. "You must have yours too."

_I… I… **Argh!**_ I growl, stomping the ground in anger. _Why must you bring up this subject? I was perfectly fine until you made me crave for such… feral desires!_ I even spit fire at the ground in frustration, which burns for a while before it puts itself out.

"Oh, Toothless…" Hiccup says, his face falling, his hammer hanging feebly by his side. "I went too far. Sorry."

At his apology, I clear up right away, nudging his hand gently in forgiveness, but I cannot push away the nagging feeling of mating from my mind.

I've been with humans long enough to know how they woo. They get together, talk to each other often, and if they're close enough, they lick each other's tongues. How they actually mate is beyond my knowledge (and Hiccup has nearly thrown me out when he found out that I was secretly opening his notebook), but it mustn't be that much different from dragons.

As for dragons, wooing is quite simple and is often incredibly quick. Especially in the mating season, where pheromones are running high. We get to talk a bit, some species like to show off, and if we agree, we mate. Simple. Not confusing and tentative like humans. Astrid was trying to win Hiccup for, what, nearly ten years? That's really long. And I don't even know if they've mated yet. Compared to our less than 5 minute talks… yeah.

Gah! What am I talking about? I shouldn't be thinking about this stuff. No. No way.

As we continue our now silent walk towards the arena, I fight my own battles in my head about the subjects that Hiccup has so inadvertently planted into my mind, growing larger and larger like an infection.

_Imagine what you could do._

_Shut up. What I'm doing now is enough._

_Even Hiccup supports you._

_He's only saying it to make me feel better. He doesn't want me to leave as much as I do._

_But you _**do**_ want to leave. You want to find a mate._

_Only because you started it._

_Only because your friend started it._

_I don't care. I'm not going to betray my best friend for a measly female._

_Oh, yes, you will._

_Oh, shut the-_

"Here it is, Toothless," Hiccup declares, snapping me back to my senses. "The arena."

_Mm…_ I grumble, sliding my tail on the ground awkwardly as my inner voices die down. Hiccup laughs.

The arena, which has been pretty much unused for the last several years, stands perfectly as it once had been; the metal rusting slightly from the rain and snow on Berk, but nothing really shabby or in need of repairing. Maybe that's why no one's touched it for so long.

As we near it, I notice the Night Fury sign hanging above the gate and croon. It's still there, after all this time. Ever since Hiccup had it made all those years before.

Hiccup shakes his head in disapproval, and I perk my ears up in interest.

"It was back then when I thought dragons could be 'trained'," Hiccup says in disgust. "It turns out that you guys are just like humans. You disliked being oppressed as much as we did. That's why we're friends, not master and pet, see."

I growl in agreement. The people back then thought that they could control us. They even tried to put dragons on a leash or in cages, which is why none of the dragons went near the arena, and eventually, it was shut down due to lack of activity.

"It was you, actually, that showed me that," he says in thought.

I let out a small croon of curiosity.

"You showed me that your instinct to protect me had to be earned. It wasn't always in you, to follow me everywhere. And you showed me that I was just like you. That you needed care, too. When I forgot about you all those years, I thought you were a doll that was eventually stored away as I grew up and more… mature and interesting things came into my life."

He says the last sentence through gritted teeth, his grip on the hammer tightening.

"It wasn't until you openly showed your anger and actions towards my neglect that I understood that we were equal. We all needed to matter to another, but I chose to matter to Astrid instead. I thought that you'd be fine without me, because I didn't know that you'd care. But it turns out that you did, and I realized that I did too, despite how much I'd ignored you, and how I wrong I was to do so. Which means that dragons need care as much as humans do, and like us, _don't_ like being treated as playthings. You're just like a human friend, who have other human friends that care for each other and stick with each other and comfort each other. You don't like following me around but getting ignored all the time. Fishlegs would certainly hate me for that."

I coo, sensing frustration in his voice.

"I guess I'm just ranting right now because of what I used to do back then. And I feel guilty because you can't really explain your side of things to me."

I give an appreciative croon, rubbing the side of my snout on his side. He gives me a gentle pat.

"I know, Toothless. Thanks."

He takes a long look at the arena and sighs.

"You know, when I see this place, I don't think of the original Flight Club at all," he says. "I always think of when I was just a kid, and I was fighting Hookfang, and you were there to save me." He walks over to the side of the arena, where the spectators safely viewed the gore inside. "I remember my father right here," he points to a part of the neglected wood, "Telling Gobber to stop the fight." He walks over a rusting section of rusting metal bars that cover the place. "And somewhere here, where you blasted through the bars to save me."

I follow him around quietly as he makes his way around the arena, making sure not to disturb him as he recalls these memories. I remember, too, when I swooped in and cleanly destroyed the metal when I heard his scream of fear. He wasn't going to make it- or die- without me, was what I thought back then. But now, when I look at the quiet, lonely arena, I think of only how such a thriving place became… this. From a place that tortured dragons to a place that trained them, then to a place where dust settles idly, wondering why it must rest in such a lonely place. He silently climbs up to the top of the arena and bringing the Night Fury sign down carefully. He sets it near me, but I ignore it and follow him back to the arena's gate.

"Now, all we need to do is tear this place down," he says with a determined voice, The arena stands in its full shiny glamor, but like many things, beauty has its own bloody history. "Shall we?"

I roar, shooting a firebolt that melts a hole in the front gate.

"Yeah!" Hiccup yells, smashing down a metal bar with a mighty swing of his hand. The rusted metal makes it easy for me and Hiccup to smash, tobble, burn, and raze the exteriors of the arena, whose insides soon follow the same fate.

"This is way better than sorting out water supplies," he comments, ripping out the ropes that bind the arena above line by line, occasionally swinging on them and then shoving axes straight at them. Hiccup lets me do the honors, which is burn the vertical line that descends downwards and connects the rest of the ropes.

"Whew," he says, signed slightly from the massive amounts of fire that I use to tear the metal bars apart. "That's enough, I guess."

When the bars surrounding the arena are totally in pieces, but not discarded (Hiccup says that they can be melted into something else later on, regardless of their destroyed state), Hiccup and I back off and begin pulling out the wooden slabs that make up the wooden platforms. One by one, the wood comes out cleanly from its group, where Hiccup hands it to me to bring to the growing pile of supplies by the post-arena's front. Many times will Hiccup ask me to take the metal to Gobber's forge, but it is only when he stops deboarding the ground and come with me do I take the iron to the forge.

"You are one stubborn dragon," he mutters, leaving the forge after handing iron to Gobber for the third time in half an hour, the latter nodding absentmindedly (and melting sandstone). "I wonder if you got this from me, or you were already this stubborn."

All he gets is thrown off my back and onto the soft ground as I lick him. He doesn't fight it, despite villagers watching him.

Once all of boards are gone and all the materials have been taken to the village, which really is saying something, it's midday. Hiccup removes the last bits of wood, and lets me burn the outlying ones that he couldn't pry out. Now, the arena is a hollowed bit of ground with smoldering bits of wood scattered here and there.

"Wow," he says, looking at a column of thin smoke that rises from my firebolt from the front of the post-arena. "This was once where I taught the other guys, and now…"

_It's nothing but hollowed ground,_ I finish for him. _Which is somewhat depressing._

"We'll build a real Academy this time," Hiccup says determinedly, looking at the charred ruins. "We'll make sure it never holds as terrible memories as this place once had."

I croon, agreeing with his plan.

_We will._

But he can't hear that.

"We'll have to take this Night Fury sign back home first, though," he says, picking up the sign from the ground. "Maybe we'll hang this in front of the house again."

I nod as Hiccup mounts my back once again, and we fly back home together. I don't know when I started calling Hiccup's home my home, but it just _feels_ like home. It's that vibe of security and freedom that you get when you're in your own quarters, I guess, that makes home home.

It's also Hiccup's presence, of course, that makes his home my home as well.

We land just outside his house, the interiors of the structure empty of people, with Stoick out at the docks, and Hiccup just right on the outside. It's just a tiny step to being inside, but the house is still empty.

"I'm going to go get the stuff. You just wait here."

The cloudless sky is still open for us to fly, and I nod towards it expectantly.

"Hold on, hold on. We'll fly once your spectacular picture is up."

I roll my eyes and flop down on the grass in wait. Stubborn Hiccup still wants to get the Night Fury sign hung up first. Grmmph.

I watch the sky as I wait. The village has so many dragons visiting it, but I don't really talk to a lot of them. The pre-chief dragons know better than to try and get me to talk to them. They're just annoying, in my eyes. Maybe it's because of the solitary thing, too, but really. I close my eyes and let out a sigh.

_Some of them are just unbearable-_

_Who's unbearable?_

A black figure, a female Night Fury, is hovering just above the cliff, not landing on the grass, and is right in front of me.

No way. Why would a Night Fury, of all sorts, be here?

As she hovers there, her wings flapping slowly and gracefully, all my thoughts slowly fade away, her blue eyes locked into my own.

_So, who's unbearable?_ she asks playfully, I stare at her wildly, my pheromones blazing at her desirable body. _Never mind that. Who are you?_

_I… uh…_ I stutter, trying very hard to make myself look nice. _H-hi._

_Hi,_ she answers sweetly, her eyes glinting in interest. She's so pretty… I wonder if she has a mate yet. She probably doesn't. Maybe she's looking for one.

_Um… I, uh, well…_ I continue, trying my best to form words, but it's just not working. Everything has just slipped from my mind, the image of her filling every corner of my peripherals as I try to take her image in as much as I can.

_I've been searching everywhere,_ she says, ruffling her wings gently. _There aren't a lot of us left._

_T-that's true,_ I reply. Not to mention that it's mating season…

_What's wrong?_ she asks, tilting her head slightly. She looks so cute when she does that…

C'mon, say it! Just say it! You can do it!

_Y-you're pretty,_ I manage to stutter, and instantly mentally slap myself at my own awkwardness. No, you can't be that blunt! She'll think you're a pervert! _Pretty, um, nice, I mean._

_Right…_ she says quietly, leaning down to touch my wing with her own. My eyes race with thousands of thoughts at her touch. _I've never really met another Night Fury before, but I can tell you're pretty… nice, too._

_Pretty nice?_ I ask, my mind zinging as she draws away, finally landing on the grass.

_As in… you know… cute,_ she says shyly. _I like... y-your eyes._

I croon, moving in to touch her wing back with my own. As we touch again, I feel I rushing sensation, a need to be with her, a want to… love.

_I like… you,_ I say finally, moving in to rub my snout with hers, earning a small coo from her.

_M… me too,_ she says, cooing softly as our snouts touch.

_I'm Toothless._

_I'm Starlight,_ she says, tilting her head coyly. _This is all so fast… my mind's rushing…_

_It is…_ I say, my mind lost in bliss. _We can go somewhere else first, if you want-_

_Yes, I do,_ she whispers, lowering her head in acceptance.

_Wait at Night Fury isle, then, _I say, the first place I can think of. _It's about ten minutes to the northeast from here._

_I'll be waiting there, then,_ she says with a wink, backing off slowly and winking at me. _See you._

She turns around, looks at me one more time, and then takes off in the direction that I talked about. This is so unreal… a female Night Fury… and I didn't even have to dance with her. Which is lucky, since I…

...need Hiccup to fly.

Oh no.

Oh no no no no no no.

As soon as this thought comes into my head, my thoughts instantly crash back down to me, accusations flooding my head as I slam my head in the ground in guilt. My head is aching, but I don't care.

No! I shouldn't have said that… no…

"Found your long love at last?"

I instantly turn around, and stare, with wide, guilty, eyes, as Hiccup stands in front of me, a smile on his face. Hiccup. The man who gave me everything. Hiccup. The man who I just betrayed.

_Hiccup!_ I cry, running up to him and throwing myself downwards forcefully. _I'm sorry! I- I don't want to leave you… you mean the world to me. She was… she… I'm not going to trade you for- I'm sorry, Hiccup. I can't… I can't._

"I knew something like this would happen," he says, kneeling down and touching my snout gently. "I just never thought it would be this day that you'd leave."

_I'm not going to leave!_ I roar, nearly knocking him down in frustration. _Never!_

As he continues to pat me gently, I slump down onto the grass, the fight going out of me.

"It's alright, Toothless," he says, hugging me tightly. "I understand."

I know he doesn't. No one understands me at the moment. Even I don't understand myself. I move my snout up to his chest, and pray, despite having never believed in any gods at all, that he will get my message.

_I'm sorry, Hiccup. Please forgive me. I'm not going to leave you, alright? You've done everything you can for me. She's not worth it. I want to mate, that's true, but… I'm not selling you out. It's just not fair for you, after all that's happened. She's nothing compared to you. Besides, I can't leave you, even if I wanted to. My prosthetic won't work on its own._

"That's why I made this for you," he says carefully, producing a metal prosthetic from behind him.

I stare at him, not really believing what he's showing. In fact, I can't believe if this is really him.

In his hands, a new prosthetic, clicking with little gears and metal lines, a contraption that I've never seen before.

"I made this not long ago," he explains. "I found out that I could make the metal prosthetic match your still living tailfin's movements, and I went ahead and just that."

I stare at him, a small coo eliciting from my vocal chords. This isn't true… he really did this for me? Just so I could be with… her? The hopes of mating, filled with guilt and self-hate, flow once into reality again. But...

"You can fly wherever you want with this new prosthetic," he says with a wink. "Even with… have you got a name for her yet?"

_No! I'm not going to go with her!_

I make a lunge for the prosthetic tail, aiming to destroy it before my thoughts even more out of control, but Hiccup jerks it away from me. I crash into his chest instead, which I regret immediately as he recoils backwards.

"Why fight your desires, Toothless?" he asks softly, wincing slightly in pain. "Even I ran off with Astrid once, remember?"

I nod. There's no denying that.

"She doesn't like humans, right?"

I nod.

"Yeah. I figured that out," he says, a smile on his face. "Look, we've all gotta move on at one point. Your life is not going to stop because of me. Do you understand?"

I shake my head vigorously.

"Admit it. She's accepted you."

I bare my fangs. _Doesn't mean I accept her._

Hiccup sighs. "You like her. You want to be with her."

At these words, I cannot make myself lie anymore. I nod.

"T-then this prosthetic will suit you well."

I look at the thing, this time with not anger, but with hope. The fact that I can finally have a mate, finally have kids, finally be with another Night Fury, is more than I've ever dreamed of. Even Hiccup has a mate. And since he's fine with it, maybe I can finally have one of my own too.

I look back at Hiccup expectantly, whose eyes aren't all that glinting anymore.

_Hiccup?_ I croon, nearing him once again.

"I-it's nothing," he says, shaking his head vigorously. "J-just turn around and I'll get t-the prosthetic on."

I don't budge, my eyes widening in concern as his body starts shaking.

"C'mon, you stupid reptile," he stutters, his voice cracking. "Just turn around."

I stay exactly where I am. If he's not happy, neither will I.

"Toothless!" he says, discarding the prosthetic and running up to hug me. I realize that he's crying, and coo softly as his large arms embrace me, his body trembling from emotions.

"Toothless…" he says, his voice on the verge of breaking down. "I… I'm glad that I've had the chance to have a friend like you. I don't think anyone else in the world will care for me as much as you will. You've been with me ever since I met you all those years ago, and since then, you have never left my side. You've always been with me, be it through love or hate. You've tolerated things that other people would have never tolerated. Every time I screwed up, you would always be there to listen to me. No one, will be able to replace you. Not any person or dragon. You've been the best person I've ever had in my life. You'll always be my best friend, Toothless. Nothing's going to change that."

I coo softly, my eyes closed, and, being unable to bear the emotions that crash through, I cry as well. Small teardrops roll down my eyes, sliding off my scales and onto Hiccup's arms.

"No one," he says, "Will ever know as much love and care as we do."

As I cry silently, Hiccup wipes the tears away from my face gently.

"All through my life, I've never thought of you leaving," he continues, "I hoped that you'd be with me forever. But even friends have to leave one day. We're like sticks floating on a streaming river, and I'm glad that our paths have crossed for so long. Time to move on from this stupid little boy who can't raise a knife to defend himself, Toothless."

I open my eyes, and see a teary smile on his face. Nodding, I move my tail up to my side, allowing Hiccup to undo the saddle, dismantle the old tailfin and replace it with the new one. As he works on the last thing he'll ever get to help me with, my eyes do not leave him.

"T-there, you lovesick reptile," he says, standing up and pulling me into a hug once again. "You can fly on your own now. I had to hide the prosthetic away from you before, because I know you'd destroy it, but now… just don't try to break it, alright? I don't have spares."

I coo gently, my mind nudging gently at his own. He pulls in closer as I pour out my thoughts to him, not caring if he can hear them or not.

_I don't know what to say,_ for everything has been said, I tell him. _But when I first met you that day, I never thought that I'd become friends with you. I never thought that we'd share a bond stronger than any dragon and human would ever have. And I certainly never thought that I'd standing here, bidding you goodbye. But here I am, and I want to tell you, that I am grateful for every single moment that I am with you. Every moment just standing with you equates to an immeasurable amount of security, care, love, and trust that no one will ever be able to experience. I might be away from you, Hiccup, but you'll always be with me forever._

Hiccup stands tall, looking at me with a mixture of happiness and sadness. His green eyes, matching only mine, glint in the rays of the orange sun, his smell of pine and mint making my reason to breathe more than to just survive.

"I'll miss you, Toothless," he says, raising his arm in a small wave.

I will never, never, forget this boy. The man who gave me everything I could want, and things that I never thought existed. The boy who made a dragon something much more than just a flying reptile.

I retract my teeth, give one him last smile, and take off into the air, my thoughts thinking of the future ahead as I sail into the endless sky.

_I'll miss you too, bud._

* * *

**L/N: I know I'm not really great at notes, but I really, really, want to thank you guys, all of you guys, for providing me with the inspiration to write and continue writing throughout all my time here. Be it a follow, ****a review****, a favourite, or even a PM, you guys keep on showing me that my stories are actually worth reading, and for that, I'm grateful for you. A story is never complete without a reader to appreciate it, and you guys have filled that part so well.**

**Thanks.**

**Also, to clarify: Searching for Lightning is *sorta*on hiatus, because I'm still thinking of what to write about. Not to mention that last chapter was also kind of an enging to the story anyway, so now I'm stuck.**


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